[emptyandhostile-]

I had a dream that me and my ex boyfriend were still talking, I was at the mall looking at clothes i believe, and I came across this little boy selling puppies. He was selling them for a 1 dollar because I guess they all didn't have much time to live. I found some change in my pocket, and gave it to him. The puppies starting to try to runaway people were crowded everywhere looking for the puppies, and looking at the puppies. I started walking back home (which was apparently a foster home/group home at the time) and I asked my ex to walk back, and bring my bookbag back. I was riding in a car, and I had saw that he had grabbed the wrong book bag, I jumped out of the moving car, and we started fighting on the way back home. We took the tracks to my house. Him and his girlfriend (who's his current real life girlfriend at this point) was way ahead of me at the some point. And I seen her crying and freaking out. I had seen that my ex was going all crazy and suicidal. He had picked up a piece of glass from the tracks, and started slitting his throat. I told her to call the police. I ended up seeing his head decapitated hanging somewhere by the tracks (i think a tree?) he starting chasing me down the tracks without a head i believe and he had a board with a bunch of nails in it and he was swinging around the board trying to hit me. I remember running from my life and being terrified of him. His gf starting hitting him with the board and saved me from being killed. we hugged and we cried.

Then my little brother tried to kill himself the same sort of way. by slitting his throat and hanging himself. He ended up in the hospital. Had to get surgery on his spine, and get therapy for his motor skills. me and my mother got in to a few fights until we finally sat down and talk. She had originally came in to my room and started reading my journals, until I said "fine let me just tell you what happened" , I freaked out in a classroom at everybody. It seemed like in the beginning of my dream I had friends, and a guy I was going for. and towards the end of my dream I felt like everyone was avoiding me, or didn't want to get involved with anything.

I really want to understand this dream. It was really violent, and scary. I did watch a serial killer documentary and meth documentary before heading bed, and I do have a very hostile relationship with my ex. He hates me because I hurt him many times in the relationship, and know he's with someone else. She had also spit in my face at a party the first I met her. I do feel regretful sometimes for hurting him. I do miss him. We had a really crazy relationship. We would drink a lot , and fight, and end up with no contact orders against each other. He talked a lot of crap about me when we broke up, and threw dirt on my name everywhere he went. (he started traveling). I do have somebody else now, and we have been together for almost a year, and live together. So i just don't understand why I'm still having dreams of my ex.

[Thunder Bow]

Those dark documentary are the trigger. Best to avoid them in the future. You mind is still processing what went on with your ex, and how you felt.