[geez]

I had this dream last night that was awful.

.....Trigger.....

I am a survivor of CSA and I wasn't sure which forum to post this in.
If the moderator thinks it should be moved to the abuse forum then please do.

I walked into a crowded movie theater. As I was walking down the isle a person on stage made the announcement that someone was coming. (i don't remember the name of the person or group coming) I then felt intense fear and wanted to hide. Part of the trick in hiding was if you closed your eyes before they came into the theater they wouldn't see you. I decided to be extra safe and hid behind the red curtain that was behind the movie screen. Before I sat on a desk chair and closed my eyes I saw the announcer standing near me. I was very afraid. A sat with my eyes tightly shut. A few seconds went by and the evil person found me. I would describe him as looking like the mad hatter from Alice In Wonderland (I had seen him before in my past). As I sat there with my eyes squeezed tight I could hear his voice in my head talking to me asking me "is this the right spot" as he groped me. He put his hands on my breasts and he put his fingers in my private area to see if I would give him a response. Asking "is this the right spot?" I was frozen and horrified. As long as I stayed perfectly still with my eyes closed he would loose interest and go away. Eventually he did go away however I felt dirty and used. I felt violated.

I thought I was past this?!

[Thunder Bow]

That is your mind replaying a clear memory of your abuse. This happens as you do therapy and grow. This normal. The feelings were normal as well. Anger around this is normal too. As you remember, the feelings will return to the right time, and place, and not haunt you any more.