[livelaughlove22]

I am taking care of my friends 5 year old daughter for a while. Her and her ex husband are divorced and she recently discovered that anytime her daughter has been at his house the past two years and a half years, she's been sexually abused by him and his friends.It hit her very hard that this happened to the little girl and she is going to get help for depression, before living with her daughter again because she doesn't want the environment to be unstable.

My question is how do I get her to go to sleep without it being world war 3 every night. She screams and cries that she doesn't want to go to bed. Last week her therapist gave me a list of ideas but they aren't really helping. She's a very independent little girl and doesn't like being touched, nurtured, held or anything. I showed her as I locked all the doors and thought it would make her feel better, it didn't. I've tried sitting with her until she fell asleep, she says she wants to do it herself, but she just stays up all night, which I know isn't OK for a 5 year old. Why won't she let me help her feel safe??

[glok]

Hello, livelaughlove22. I wonder if the abuse happened at night?

[winter4me]

She needs professional help also. Someone who specializes in children who have been sexually abused.
Does she have anything (a stuffed animal/particular blanket/other) that she is attached to?
(I'm thinking transitional objects...) And, have you asked her what would help? Maybe talking to her during a "good" time, during the day, just saying you know she isn't sleeping, that she might be sad, or hurt, or even frightened at times, that you would like to help but don't know what to do---and asking her what would be good. (does she have any cognitive disabilities? other? (aside from being traumatized by the abuse))
Engaging her, during waking hours in activities like painting, drawing, physical activities (playground, water, walks/biking/whatever she does/being with other kids in a safe setting---a good day care/summer day camp...) can also have benefits. Five year olds can tell you a lot about what they need. ...this is going to be a tough time... Glad she has you.
Her independence is protecting her right now.