[Lackadaisical.me]

I'm not sure where to start. I'll begin with what brought me here. Maladaptive Dreaming is something I have been unknowingly dealing with since my childhood. An over active imagination some would say. A pencil was an air plane or missile always got me in trouble. So instead I would constantly be writing stories or poetry instead of doing school work. I contributed daydreaming to my diagnoses of attention deficit disorder in 2001, regretfully the medication subscribed to me only seem to help me focus more on my daydreams instead of my responsibilities and reality. It was suggested that I figure out exactly what triggers me to daydream, and then avoid or limit those activities if at all possible. But anything seem to trigger my dreams; such as a nice car, a big house, especially music and movies. They tended to feed my imagination with scenarios that would play out in my mind. For example: A love song on the radio could have me be the one who writes and sings the love song on stage and win back the heart of someone who may have broken mine at one time. And then it begins. That alone would postulate sequences that could continue for hours. I have missed trains, busses, and planes sitting around waiting and daydreaming. My grades were definitely effected and now that I'm older I believe MD has gotten progressively worse, becoming more of a delusion of grandeur.
I started bring characteristics of who I dreamed I could be into reality. Acting more charismatic that shy, being more confident with my gestures and body language. Avoiding certain questions that might show my true self or give someone reason to think of me negatively. My social life expanded and alcohol started helping me become even more versatile with theses escapades, and it's harder to distinguish my dreams from reality.
Recently I had emergency surgery on a hernia that I have had for years. The pain eventually became so unbearable it landed me in the hospital but prior to that, I was able to use the pain in moderation to control or create daydreams instead of getting medical treatment. Stress certainly doesn't help. Knowing surgery would be inevitable, I added additional stress knowing I didn't have health insurance, the cost of the surgery and the prescriptions, the money I would loose away from work could put me into daydream. A dream that would allow me to deal with all my problems with ease.
I don't know what to do.

[Thunder Bow]

Daydreaming is helping you cope in life, and with stress and depression. Drinking does that as well. Therapy can help you turn daydreams into problem solvers. Right now you are just coping and not getting any where. Look into sliding fees and other resources in the community.