I had dream where I was non stop hitting my mom on a concrete floor. My stepdad tried to stop me but he also got assaulted but I murdered (if I do remember correctly) and then I continued on my mom and my little sister was crying for me stop but I just kept going. That was all I remember. I've been having family, income and mental health problems recently but that doesn't excuse what I did.
Here's my current situation:
I don't feel this HATRED toward my mother at all, a little towards my stepdad as he was recently messing with crack and heroin and was cheating on my mom ( both around a month ago) he's also has been unemployed since June of 2016. I've told my mom all this and we've all disputed this with each other, I even almost fought with my stepdad, but we all get along now but I just feel uneasy when It comes to him. I've been carrying my family for a while now and it has been overwhelming to say the least, while my stepdad finds a job. I looked up to him as he was my ONLY father figure but I saw what he became and I couldn't believe it, now I have no one to look up to but myself, I have to be my own man but it's hard being a boy struggling to make it, I'm only 18 btw. I never had anyone to talk to about this stuff a while back but now my counselor says to be more open with my Mother and I have been and it's been going well so far just hope it doesn't set me back.
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