[Unicornicopia]

Last night I had a weird scary dream...

Event that may have triggered my dream:
Last night around 8pm, my stepmom was helping her mom (she lives with us in home hospice care) on the potty chair in her room and while her mom sat there going to the bathroom suddenly her mom just went completely limp and unresponsive. My stepmom repeatedly tried to get a response from her with no success. She called out for my dad and I to help move her onto her bed. As soon as she was on the bed she finally became responsive again but clearly showing signs of having a stroke. My stepmom and I got her cleaned up before my stepmom called her mom's hospice nurse for an emergency visit. When the nurse arrived and checked out her mom's vital signs, she confirmed that her mom had a TIA (Transient ischemic attack). She suggested we either take her to the hospital or just try to make her as comfortable as possible. Being in hospice care, we all agreed that it's best to just make her comfortable. After the nurse left, my dad went to bed while my stepmom and I tucked her into bed and headed to bed ourselves.

My weird dream:
When I finally fell asleep and started dreaming, my dream started off with me in a weird house I've never seen before with a lot of people (ones I knew as well as ones I didn't). I remember feeling scared but at the same time pretty confident. I had this urge to have sex with as well as murder people. I would go around the house f*cking random people and killing others. I do remember killing my grandfather (I'll link you to an off-site post of what he did to me and why I hate him, if requested) and loving every second of it. I felt so weird being so lustful and bloodthirsty at the same time.

I seriously am scared and confused about my dream. I've had bad nightmares before but I've never had such a vivid and terrifying dream like this before.

[Thunder Bow]

The incident released a flood of feelings about your family and growing up situations. You must of had a lot of pent up feelings.

[Unicornicopia]

I agree, I have a lot of pent up feelings. Many of which would put a strain on the relationships I have with family, which is why I don't express them. I tend to bottle up my emotions as to not hurt anyone. I'm kind and selfless to a fault, I let my emotions hurt me instead of others. But I still don't understand how my brain turned my feelings into me being a sex-crazed, bloodthirsty murderer...

[Shazerac]

Those kind of dreams can be extremely disturbing. Your description of yourself as “kind and selfless to a fault” is very telling. You are not doing yourself any favors being like this. You are in fact harming yourself with this behavior. Bottled up feelings are going to come out some kind of way. If you don’t do it when you’re awake your psyche will do it when you’re asleep.

[Thunder Bow]

In the dream you may have been doing that to yourself. I agree with the above post.

[Unicornicopia]

I agree as well. I've been trying to let my emotions out in a positive way but all I want to do is destroy things, scream, and cry. Things I used to love doing, like writing and drawing, don't make me feel better anymore. They all feel like a chore instead of something I get joy out of. Plus, it doesn't help that any antidepressant I take turns me into a robot. I currently take prozac and I just feel empty.

[Thunder Bow]

Talk to your doctor about changing your meds. Prozac can be nasty for some.

[Unicornicopia]

Guess I should. I've been taking it for quite a few months with no improvement. Hopefully I can find one that does work for me.