[Alyhart]

So I have been dealing with social anxiety for as long as I can remember, though I didn't know that's what it was at first. I only have one friend, and she isn't in any of my classes, which makes school really hard (I'm 17). I can barely get words out when I talk to people, and I always get really flushed. So anyways, I am set to be valedictorian of my high school class next year, and I will have to give two speeches. In front of thousands and thousands of people. I can't do it. When I was in eighth grade, we had a graduation (it was a k-8 school) and I had to give a speech. I had a panic attack right before the graduation, and I started crying in front of hundreds (not even thousands) of people, and could barely finish my speech because I started to black out. I can't do this again, and I don't know what to do. Sorry to take up your time, but I really need help. Does anyone know what I should do?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Alyhart: Well... it's been many years since I was in school. And I was a l-o-n-g way away from valedictorian. (Congratulations on that, by the way!) But it seems to me you just have to tell them this is simply not something you feel capable of doing. They can't force you to do it I don't believe. (Perhaps they can find some local "celebrity" type person to give a rousing graduation speech in your place.) I've had too many experiences, over the years, forcing myself to do things I didn't feel capable of doing (because of my own social anxiety) & ending up feeling thoroughly embarrassed & foolish because it actually did turn out just as badly as I had feared it would. It's not worth it in my estimation. But you have to be strong & not let others cajole you into doing it... telling you how it will all be okay. (nil carborundum illegitimi...!)

Of course, I'm assuming here you really don't want to do this. Perhaps there's a part of you that would really like to do it. In that case, perhaps there's a medication you could take that would allow you to give your speeches without unravelling. You could, perhaps, approach your family doctor about that. And beyond that, again if this is something you really would like to do, my suggestion would be prepare your speeches well ahead of time & practice, practice, practice. My experience was that the few times I did have to give speeches, when I knew my material backwards-&-forwards, as the saying goes, it all went much better for me. Good luck!

[jesswah]

Is there a counselor at school you could talk to or a teacher you trust? To let them know how you feel about this and the distress it's causing? If you can get someone to understand your situation, maybe they can help to find a solution that works for you.

And when I say "talk to", that could also be writing it down and handing it to the person.

[Sometimes psychotic]

I had to give a similar speech as salutatorian.....it wasn't that bad when I was actually up there but as I see it here are your options. When they ask tell them to get the salutatorian instead or maybe number 3 if no 2 already gives a speech. Then you'll be off the hook. Option 2 get therapy or medication to help you before then. It's likely you'll have to give speeches as part of work or college so it helps to get this issue taken care of. If you don't give the speech don't be surprised if they force you to see a counselor or some such.....schools like comformity......

[Sunflower123]

I just wanted to support you and offer best wishes in whatever you decide to do.

[Alyhart]

thank you all. I asked my counselors and they said that the speeches are mandatory if you decide to accept being valedictorian, so I think I've decided to just give up the title. At least I'll still have the high GPA on record. I just wanted to thank you all for your advice and input