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Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
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#1
My biggest fear has to be social media. The only profile I have is Facebook but I'll post something like once a year. Before I post something I get a feeling very similar to stage fright, and then I just abandon the post. The idea that hundreds of people are viewing my posts, and forming opinions about them, and probably talking about them amongst themselves makes me very anxious. This fear is honestly unfounded because every time I post a new photo of myself, I get quite a few likes and "reactions". I just can't help it.
I'm constantly asked by people "Why don't you have Instagram? It's how you can keep up with the latest things! How do you even stay in touch with people?!" I also just read an article that said that potential employers will go on a candidate's Facebook profile to get more information about them, and if they don't even have a profile, they might assume the candidate is some kind of serial killer. The point is, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I feel like not having Instagram and Facebook profiles makes you a social outcast. On the other hand, I'm so afraid of it. Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome this fear? I haven't really spoken to anybody about it because they'll probably think it's ridiculous. __________________ "If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
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MrsA, Serpentine Leaf
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Rouge0, Serpentine Leaf, Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#2
I'm sorry I don't have the answer to this. I personally avoid pretty-much all social media (except for PC, of course.) But, then, I'm old. So it really doesn't matter much in my case. I'm not on Facebook or Instagram or anything like that. I also don't often post my own threads here on PC either. And when I do I always feel a twinge of embarrassment later & wonder why I did it.
You asked about tips for how to overcome your fear of social media. My only thought would be to just dive in & do it... more-&-more. The more time you spend on it, the more comfortable you would (hopefully) become with it. I suppose if you really wanted to focus on this, you could develop some kind of a program where you reward yourself for accomplishing certain pre-set goals in terms of participating on social media. But that may be a bit more involved than you want to get. Here's a link to an article, from PC's archives, that offers tips for moving out of fear & into your life. Perhaps some the suggestions in this article can be of help: Moving Out of Fear and into Your Life __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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LadyShadow
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Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
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#3
I would be surprised if not having a Facebook account would cost you a job. Many people are off Facebook or have very high privacy settings, including me.
__________________ It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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LadyShadow
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Wanderer of Distant Stars
Member Since May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
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#4
Although this may seem like NOT the best advice, I would tell you to make a fake profile. You know, make up a name or an alias, (make up something cool like Nick NightWhistle, or something if it will let you, (they recently updated their name filter thing so I don't know if it will work), and have your friends follow it. It will be almost like you're a "personality" under a pen-name. I mean authors and actors do it right?
__________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
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#5
Quote:
__________________ "If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
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#6
if I can ask, how do you feel about the people that are on your "friends" list seeing the posts/ pictures?
when I first read this, I immediately thought about the facebook privacy settings, that allow you to control who sees what on your feed (the thing with the posts, pictures, what ever) so if you're refering to unknown people, that's an option |
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#7
if it's friends, what about posting stuff you feel comfortable with?
I remember when I had a facebook profile, (years ago now), I never posted any pictures- because of my body issues mainly, but yes.. also embarrassed about my look out of the many interactions I had on their, only about 2 people asked me.. so where's the picture? I don't really think pictures matter. not if you're using it to get in contact with people |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Montreal
Posts: 117
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#8
Quote:
It's things like this that make me anxious about what people know about me. __________________ "If you don't like something, change it, and if you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou |
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Anonymous32451
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#9
Quote:
could you take down what makes you anxious? just have up their what you feel okay about sharing? |
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
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#10
I don't think Facebook is necessary for employment or anything else really. I would advise having a LinkedIn profile though.
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 4
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#11
I definitely have a lot of anxiety with social media accounts. I also just feel like it’s my natural personality to want more privacy, to only share the kind of thing you post with people actually in my daily life, even tho privacy seems like an outdated need in these times. but i get what you mean! it really feels like deliberately sabatoging my social life, like excluding myself from so much because I don’t have an instagram. a few years ago when i did have an instagram, i would hardly post, delete posts a lot, and be self-conscscious of my follower count. it wasn’t fun, but when i deleted it i felt way less connected to other people and, i still do. i’ve been thinking about making one again, but the idea still makes me anxious : having my life on display!?? my sister describes as “having your best moments on display” and then i remember how bothered i am by the disingenuous part of social medias. Havig no idea what’s really going on in these peoples lives but seeing the existence of their instagram and automatically trusting them more - it’s like how loud people are favored and respected over quiet people. less open mindedness
I also think im silly for having so much anxiety and overthinking about it bc it’s also not a big deal - most people have one and aren’t overthinking or feeling anxious. so why can’t you enjoy it too, if you want it? and if you don’t, there’s nothing wrong either! |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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#12
Quote:
Maybe you could try posting something here first to see what other caring, sensitive people think. We could encourage you! Then you could write about how it feels after you post it to the "facebook world". |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
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#13
I barely go on Facebook and often post funny videos or pictures of my dog, and occasionally pic with me in it. I limit myself to going on there once to twice per week or less often sometimes.
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guy1111
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Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Florida USA
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#14
This is one of the reasons why I hate social media, because it's so overwhelming for me. Sometimes I will post things up and a few people will hit like, but I won't post a lot of pictures of myself. I just don't like going there because it seems like so many people are addicted to it and I rather not be apart of it. I only have it, to keep in touch with my family and friends. Plus I'm a rather quiet person and I enjoy my private time and an introvert. Social Anxiety is a problem, I wouldn't say it's my number one problem, but it is a problem. Sometimes I get upset if a certain person won't speak to me, I end up feeling as if something is wrong with me. I just want to be accepted by the people I deeply care about. When I feel rejected by them, I get very upset. It only happens to people I deeply care about and who are important to me. If I hardly know them, it won't affect me at all. Anytime a person I deeply care for won't reach out to me, I get upset. Being on Facebook gives me anxiety and I'm always worrying what others will end up thinking of me.
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guy1111
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Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
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#15
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Nevada
Posts: 308
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#16
I didn't have spcial media anxiety until a family member attacked me about things I posted and called me names for posting in ways they didn't like. Now I hardly ever go on facebook and I hide my posts from this person.
A lot pf online articles says it's not a big deal to not use spcial media and that people are happier when they quit. But I agree with you that not using social media makes me feel a bit left out. It seems that a lot of "friends" forgot me when I stopped posting and liking their posts. I supppse such people aren't really worth keeping in your life. If you are nervous about posting personal things, try posting something casual like photos you took on a walk or of something interesting with a short caption about what you think of it. It could be as simple as "Wow!" or "Yay!" I think facebook is best used as a sort of small talk, showing off your crafts or achievements, and its better if you don't over share private details or try to persuade others to political views. You might try keep it short and polite and say the kind of things you would say in a social setting with people you just met. You could comment on the weather or temperature and people in other places will enjoy joining in to tell you how their climate differs from yours, etc. By sticking to casual small talk, you won't accidentally post something you might regret or offend anyone. |
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guy1111
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