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Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Washington
Posts: 6
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#1
It's been a while since I posted. Finally got a new job! Although I find myself in my usual predicament with social anxiety. I'm not officially diagnosed, but at work while having a conversation I'm always worried I'm making some sort of mistake and beat myself up about it, and feel I'm coming across as a weirdo or a creep. I always seem to struggle to keep the conversation going. Honestly I can't wait for it to end so I can go somewhere and turtle up. Then on the drive home I find myself mulling over ever minutia and of every conversation. I can't even say exactly what mistake I made while socializing sometimes, just a vague tense feeling while I drive home and I want to scream. I just wish I could socialize as effortlessly as everyone else seems to be able to. Even my friends and family comment sometimes that I'm quiet. I want to be like everyone else but I find I can't. I'm comfortable with silence but I realize it hampers my social life. I'd like more friends and an intimate relationship. I'm 33. Who wants to date someone who's 33 and never had an intimate relationship? I feel like I have to answer for who I am. She'll think I'm a freak for not ever having a girlfriend. I dunno maybe I am. That was a lot of ****. My browser crashed while writing this, it didn't come out like I hoped. Thanks for who ever was listening.
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AzulOscuro, mote.of.soul
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
Thanks for sharing your concern. (Sorry your browser crashed. I use a very old [by computer standards] laptop. So those sorts of things happen to me all the time. It's so frustrating!)
I experienced a lot of social anxiety over the years in my life as well. (I'm an older person now & have basically become something of a hermit.) But I have to say I've also been married for almost 40 years. So my inclination is to say there is someone out there who won't care about your social anxiety. In fact she may even value it. It's simply a matter of finding her. (I know it's not really "simple". But you know what I mean... hopefully... Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of social anxiety: Social Anxiety Overview | Psych Central Overcoming Social Anxiety 6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety Social Anxiety: The Pervasive Creature in your Mind 3 Mind Hacks that Helped Me Overcome Social Anxiety https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...ocial-anxiety/ __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
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#3
HouseStark,
There are definitely people out there that would find your social anxiety endearing! Don't worry the fact that you had the conversations is good work hopefully as you continue with your new job and you get more comfortable the conversations will get easier. I hope so because im 33 and have the same problems you do, so your definitely not walking alone. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#4
I understand you feel different to the others. We are already a big group of “creeps”. I’m also one of them.
I see how much you are struggling at work. I have been so many times in the same situation that even hurts me to read your thread. Any possibility to seek for therapy with a profesional? (s)he can guide you in this process of acceptance, give you tools to use when you are facing to an interaction, help with learning social skills. You know what’s more likely to happen? That you discover someone very valid in yourself but who is stuck because of this ghost of social anxiety. There are aspects you have to consider, the only fact that not being able to focus on what it’s going on in the interaction and monitoring yourself and how you are doing it, it’s already a big burden that can make anybody to be petrified. Let us know how you are doing it. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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mote.of.soul
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