advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Whereto52
Member
Whereto52 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 83
3 yr Member
34 hugs
given
Default Jan 16, 2021 at 07:05 AM
  #1
Hey ,
So apparently I somehow managed while being a bit drunk to secure myself a date.
Now I was eager to meet him while still being drunk and I set the date for next week on wednesday.
After waking up all I feel extremly anxious about meeting him.
He got the drunk me, who talked with him first and now I fear that my usual self can't compete with my more social drunk self and that he will be highly disappointed when he meets the real me. Or the one thats rather anxious.

Now I never really got the tips I needed to work around something like this.
Does anyone have a tip on how to reduce my fear before the date and during the date?
Whereto52 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AzulOscuro, Yaowen, zapatoes
 
Thanks for this!
Yaowen

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
Yaowen has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 16, 2021 at 10:39 AM
  #2
Dear Whereto52,

I can really identify with what you wrote from my own life. I tend to be very anxious and fearful in the kind of situation you mentioned.

A psychologist taught me a little trick for dealing with the anxiety and fear and said to try to make a little game out of the situation. He said, "Imagine you are an alien visiting the planet earth in disguise. Your mission is to gather information on human behavior in various situations. The date you are worried about is such a situation. You are to go to it and while doing "dating things" observe the behavior or the other person. That is your real reason for going on the date."

" What happens on the date," he said, " is not important or whether it leads somewhere or leads nowhere. Your mission is to gather information. So no matter what happens on the date, it is a win/win situation for you since your real mission is to gather information."

"This will take pressure off of you so you will not worry about the outcome or process of the date. There is no pressure on you to perform or succeed at anything since you are just gathering information. Your self-esteem is not at risk since your ultimate mission is gathering information."

I don't know, but this technique helped me a lot to reduce my anxiety and fear and take the pressure off of my before, during and after dates.

Since I am not a doctor or medical professional, I cannot offer any advice that you or anyone could or should rely on. I can only share what has helped me.

Hopefully you will hear from many members here with their own stories and will able to find something helpful in their words. Anxiety and fear can be brutal and drain all the joy of living from us.

I wish you only the very best in the situation you describe and in your life!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
AzulOscuro
Whereto52
Member
Whereto52 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 83
3 yr Member
34 hugs
given
Default Jan 16, 2021 at 12:41 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
Dear Whereto52,

I can really identify with what you wrote from my own life. I tend to be very anxious and fearful in the kind of situation you mentioned.

A psychologist taught me a little trick for dealing with the anxiety and fear and said to try to make a little game out of the situation. He said, "Imagine you are an alien visiting the planet earth in disguise. Your mission is to gather information on human behavior in various situations. The date you are worried about is such a situation. You are to go to it and while doing "dating things" observe the behavior or the other person. That is your real reason for going on the date."

" What happens on the date," he said, " is not important or whether it leads somewhere or leads nowhere. Your mission is to gather information. So no matter what happens on the date, it is a win/win situation for you since your real mission is to gather information."

"This will take pressure off of you so you will not worry about the outcome or process of the date. There is no pressure on you to perform or succeed at anything since you are just gathering information. Your self-esteem is not at risk since your ultimate mission is gathering information."

I don't know, but this technique helped me a lot to reduce my anxiety and fear and take the pressure off of my before, during and after dates.

Since I am not a doctor or medical professional, I cannot offer any advice that you or anyone could or should rely on. I can only share what has helped me.

Hopefully you will hear from many members here with their own stories and will able to find something helpful in their words. Anxiety and fear can be brutal and drain all the joy of living from us.

I wish you only the very best in the situation you describe and in your life!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
That is actually a real good idea wished someone had given me that tip years ago already
I will try it to think about that when I am going to meet up with that person
Whereto52 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
zapatoes
Whereto52
Member
Whereto52 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 83
3 yr Member
34 hugs
given
Default Feb 18, 2021 at 06:28 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
Dear Whereto52,

I can really identify with what you wrote from my own life. I tend to be very anxious and fearful in the kind of situation you mentioned.

A psychologist taught me a little trick for dealing with the anxiety and fear and said to try to make a little game out of the situation. He said, "Imagine you are an alien visiting the planet earth in disguise. Your mission is to gather information on human behavior in various situations. The date you are worried about is such a situation. You are to go to it and while doing "dating things" observe the behavior or the other person. That is your real reason for going on the date."

" What happens on the date," he said, " is not important or whether it leads somewhere or leads nowhere. Your mission is to gather information. So no matter what happens on the date, it is a win/win situation for you since your real mission is to gather information."

"This will take pressure off of you so you will not worry about the outcome or process of the date. There is no pressure on you to perform or succeed at anything since you are just gathering information. Your self-esteem is not at risk since your ultimate mission is gathering information."

I don't know, but this technique helped me a lot to reduce my anxiety and fear and take the pressure off of my before, during and after dates.

Since I am not a doctor or medical professional, I cannot offer any advice that you or anyone could or should rely on. I can only share what has helped me.

Hopefully you will hear from many members here with their own stories and will able to find something helpful in their words. Anxiety and fear can be brutal and drain all the joy of living from us.

I wish you only the very best in the situation you describe and in your life!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your advice was really helpful the date went great and even when there were moments where my anxiety rose I always reminded myself about the whole alien theme.
So thank you for your helping with my problem!
Whereto52 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AzulOscuro, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
unaluna
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:06 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.