advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
AzulOscuro
Grand Magnate
 
AzulOscuro's Avatar
AzulOscuro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
8 yr Member
1,748 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 30, 2022 at 05:20 AM
  #1
I’ve been noticing for the most part of my life that social interaction tires me a lot.
I can understand that this happened to me in the past when my anxiety sparked hardly but I changed a lot. I’ve been experiencing very little anxiety if none for a few months now and I’m now confident but still I can stand only a short time being with people other than my partner ( half a day or so) then, I need to be on my own.
It’s not that I don’t want to interact with people. I always wanted. Before, it stopped me my social phobia so much that avoid any contact.
But now, I still need to recharge my energy a lot.
Is it possible that what makes me so tired is that I’m wearing a mask along these moments of interactions? Mainly, I think that I’m myself or so I think but of course, I let myself drive and do new things with the crowd. Things that I’m much or less comfortable with or I want to try for the sake of learn. Although, I wouldn’t do it by myself.
I’m in a moment in my life when I’m more open to new experiences and being more open and create a good environment. I mean that I’m more daring. Of course, with my feet on the floor. Not any madness or anything too close to it.
I hate being fake. And this is what’s flying around my head now.
I also have to consider that I’ve been going through so many depressions and self-isolation along most part of my live. Exactly since I were a teenager so on another side it’s understandable that I want to show up my best face and live situations even when I find hard to know to manage them as a normal person. I’m not used to it.

Anyone experiencing something similar?

__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
AzulOscuro is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
CANDC

advertisement
CANDC
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,322 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
2,307 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 30, 2022 at 01:36 PM
  #2
Hi @AzulOscuro - I hear you. Socializing is very difficult for me if I am run down physically and or emotionally. I need to be feeling good to make a social connection. I have been known to take a nap before a phone call or call in the morning when I am at my clearest and most energetic during the day.

If you have any tips or wisdom, let me know. @CANDC

__________________
Super Moderator
Community Support Team

"Things Take Time"
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
AzulOscuro
AzulOscuro
Grand Magnate
 
AzulOscuro's Avatar
AzulOscuro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
8 yr Member
1,748 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 30, 2022 at 02:47 PM
  #3
I do understand you. I was unable to pick up the phone or make a call just only some months ago and today I even intervened in a video chat with one of my brothers in law.

I went from last Summer wanting to give it up on everything to some months later, wanting and having motivation to take the most out of life.
I’m gonna try to remember all the steps I followed to change my mindset and I’m going to write them down here for whoever may be interested and especially for you.

It’s not that after an interaction, needing time on my own bothers me, just conversely is a bless because I enjoying having time for myself because I have many interests in doing many things, for example, studying, crafting, cooking, etc.
What I’m more worry about is on a hand, whether these steps forwards are gonna be temporary and I’m gonna find any trouble that makes me undone my progress and back up
to my insecurities and such. On the other hand, I’m worried about not being myself in these interactions (you know- wearing sort of a mask- because it doesn’t take anywhere, even more, it can lead to misunderstandings with the people, misunderstanding that may be also being product of my lack of experience in handling social situations.

I’m gonna write down in detail what made me change. It’s gonna take me a while. I want to remember all what I think helped me. Ok?
I won’t forget it. 😀
Thank you for your reply.

__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
AzulOscuro is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
AzulOscuro
Grand Magnate
 
AzulOscuro's Avatar
AzulOscuro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
8 yr Member
1,748 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Aug 01, 2022 at 01:26 PM
  #4
Well…here I go!
Hope English translator doesn’t make me look too bad. lol!

I have done a summary out of the summary and still I needed to make another but I got tired.

Beforehand, I need to give you a warning. I sound when writing or speaking as if I were an expert, as if I owned the truth. That happens when I’m very convinced of something. So, take this into account because I’m gonna give that impression when this, it’s only my own experience. Thus, that way I save myself repeating “in my opinion” “as I think” So on and so forth.

There are two main pillars in an improvement.

Firstly, the outside support. When you are a 12-y-o girl questioning on your journal what you are doing here, something is wrong. Someone has to help you.
In my case, I’ve been having lot of support: Family, including my precious doggies, doggies in general, psychologists, psychiatries and a especial mention to a person I met online many years ago who, I don’t know how, but has a especial ability to know which word to tell you, which piece of advice to give you and all this at the right moments. The joke between us is that this person has an X-ray glasses but I think there’s no glasses but the NASA spy satellite.
That’s it at this point. It seems as if I were giving a speech after receiving an Oscar.

Secondly, but not less relevant. Which could it be? It’s easy, isn’t it. Inner support.
Your attitude. Not only to work but also to be open to listen, to learn.

To follow up, I’m gonna mention briefly the steps I’ve given and still I give. Adding why it’s become so useful for me.

1)Progressive Social Therapy Exposure: You never finish with this tool. It’s a life time work. You have to get out of your comfort zone. Just like a kid learn to walk, by walking.

Obviously, beginning with the easier step which is the one that implies the lower level of anxiety.
Again, like a kid. Crawling, then walking, running, jumping and so on.

2)Self-knowledge: I write on a journal whenever I need it. The poor is full of sad entries. I live the happy moments to the fullest, the bad ones are spilt on my dear journal. Many times it’s better to write than act or react.
From time to time, I go back to what I wrote and it lets me understand how my mind works, especially under pressure. I can see the patterns, question the thoughts I had.
The idea to read again with the distance of time and under other circumstances gives you the chance to see from another, more objetive perspective, sort of a scientific analysis.
Only knowledge can give you the possibility to sort things out.

3)Practise of Mindfulness:
I can’t stress enough how much mindfulness helps me to even connect and take the most out of the other tools or techniques.

Mindfulness, as you know, is simplifying it, living the present moment, staying focused on whatever activity you are doing along the day.

The main problem with anxiety is that it demands from you a big amount of energy. With depression, you are already run out of energy. You’re simply are empty.
Here is when Mindfulness plays an important role to compartmentalise.
Whereas there are activities that spark your anxiety, there are others than can make you recover part of this energy and give you a break from anxiety beside beginning the practise of mindfulness. These are activities that require low or zero anxiety.
So, the best activities to begin with the practise of staying focused are the ones that you enjoy the most.
Like a kid when is playing with his/her friends. The past, the future don’t exist for a kid when playing. All what matters is the game.

Following the principles of mindfulness, you are going to get other advantages:
- First, you won’t feel bad if you mind for moments brings you up whichever thought outside from the activity and that is a worry for you, because as soon as you realise your mind gets distracted from the activity, you are gonna back to focus on it. This gonna let you disengage from these thoughts that have no reason to appear now. Because you know this is how the brain works, it’s always working. I accept this fact but I come back to what I was doing.
- You will feel the satisfaction of having done something you enjoy, something productive and it will give you relax and plenitude. For example, a repaired and deep sleep (…) without the presence of this anxiety, worries or whatever negative that apart you from the goal.
- You will gain self-confidence. F.e.; If I’m doing a craft, I’m gonna find problems along the process, so I will have the opportunity to put into practise my creativity to solve these hurdles.
And no need to mention that practice will make you master the technique.

- Distractions and mistakes don’t mind. They are gonna give you knowledge about how the mind works as to what it comes to the former (distractions) and in regards to mistakes, they are gonna give you practice and learning. Judgement, especially, self-judgement doesn’t exist in Mindfulness.
- You will grow good habits because you are practising self-care. You are take the most of your time, your attention to enjoy and accomplish a task. And you will want to do it again.

4)Setting goals and the steps to achieve them for each one of the aspects of your life you need to change or improve: Family and friends, Work, romantic relationship, self-care, leisure, learning, etc.
I wrote them down on a notebook and even used pictures.
It’s like that.
A big objetive > medium/short time goals > daily or weekly steps.

5)Finally, I read lots of self-help books and articles about Psychology.
Articles, books, audios and lectures may help you know a little more about what it’s been found in Psychology so far. Sometimes, an idea, a piece of advice, something new could make you live the Aha! moment.

To sum it up. All these tools drive you to accept yourself, feel stronger and more in control of your life.

As a conclusion, say that people get happy when they develop as much as they can, their potentials.

__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)

Last edited by AzulOscuro; Aug 01, 2022 at 01:39 PM..
AzulOscuro is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:38 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.