[Rapunzel]

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la...,1882109.story

I read this story (link, above) about a girl who grew up homeless and everybody told her she didn't have a chance and was crazy to think she could go to college or achieve her goals. It's a really neat story, and I'm glad that she did overcome those obstacles and will be going to Harvard this Fall. I know that she worked very hard to give herself that chance, and I have thought about using this story to show the kids that I work with that they can overcome their obstacles and give themselves a chance.

But part of me is tempted to compare my life to her life, and observe that her obstacles were (are still) so huge in comparison to mine. Some are similar, such as frequent moves and not being noticed much. But I at least had a place to sleep and enough to eat, and my parents always assumed that I would go to college (they just were determined that leaving home wasn't an option). I'm embarassed that this girl was able to turn her life around and take control at 18, and it took me so much longer to even start to consider that I could have choices in life. Maybe I should have gotten it together much earlier too. I feel dumb that I didn't.

I mentioned this story, and my feelings about it, to T today. And she said that this girl's obstacles were not necessarily bigger than mine, and that invisible obstacles can be harder to climb.

I also compare to people who were abused more than I was, or others with obvious hardships. And I think that I shouldn't complain. My parents pretty much were just emotionally unavailable, and brainwashed me into thinking I was doomed to failure at anything except whatever they might have wanted me to do. They insisted that I didn't have choices, and would follow their patterns and be like them. And I didn't want to, so I stopped existing to them for several years (I was replaced by their imaginary model of who they thought I should be, so they didn't miss the real me).

Anyway, the story is neat, and I hope you find it inspirational. And I'm wondering if anyone else reacts to it as I did, and what thoughts you have about obercoming obstacles.

[lifelesstraveled]

There was also a movie about her--i think it was on Lifetime, but don't quote me on that....very inspirational story.

[jerrymichele]

People move at different phases in there life. Each person deals with different things differently. Like me for an example. I really want to go to school. I'm 35 and there are so many other people around me who have finished or going to be finished soon. I've always known that I have wanted to go, but up until now,(for me anyways) I just wasn't ready for it. Just always remember we are all the same. One person is not better than the other. We are all human beings.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Rap )))))))))))))))))

[VickiesPath]

" invisible obstacles can be harder to climb "

Rapunzel,

I was bipolar all my life and didn't know it. I was fighting mania and depression and didn't know they had names, that they weren't normal and that other people didn't have to fight them. I couldn't figure out why I could pull straight A's one semester in college and then barely scrape by the next, barely able to function at all. I didn't understand why I would suffer what turned out to be delusions of my role in job situations, only to realize too late that I had screwed something up real bad and was totally shocked when I was fired. My self esteem was in the toilet and I didn't have a clue why I kept doing these things. Then one day I landed in the hospital and someone explained to me what major depression is. But I was still misdiagnosed for 20 years so the hell continued until four years ago.

Yes, invisible obstacles are just as hard as visible ones, even harder. At least, you know who or what you are up against. I'm 56 and am just now beginning to live the life I've always wanted to live. My self-esteem is still a challenge, I haven't made a scrapbook but I've spent hundreds of hours journaling and in therapy, working in workbooks and reading, reading, reading. I make endless notes in the margins. It is the hardest work I've ever done and the most rewarding. Hang in there.

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((( hugs to everyone who read this )))))))))))))

Jerrymichelle, although I went to collage at the usual age, I gave up after completing the requirements for a double major, and walked the stage with my class but didn't actually graduate. I was depressed and hopeless and since I didn't get accepted for a master's degree and everyone said there was nothing I could do with a bachelor's in my fields, I thought the whole thing was worthless. I spent 13 years telling people that college was a waste of time and money and all I got for it was debt that I'd never be able to pay off since I never had a decent-paying job. I hated the annual social security statements that told me how worthless I was, and would always compare and observe that my student loan debt was higher than my lifetime earnings. It still is, because my student loan debt went up significantly. I did go back, finished my BA, and got a master's degree. I'm older than most people just starting careers, but there were people older than me in my classes too. And I've noticed a bilboard announcing a lady who graduated from collage at age 94. I guess it's never too late.

Vickie, thanks for sharing your story. You have faced a lot of obstacles without knowing what they were. I've known that I was depressed for a long time, but it was never adequately treated before recently. And I thought that personality disorders were just superficial stuff that didn't really have any significance. I knew that I had a couple of them, but didn't see that as my problem. I didn't know that my personality disorders were severe and were the root of my depression. Social and environmental factors, like with the girl in the story, are also important. It's hard to understand how she found people to believe in her, and never gave up on herself. But her challenges aren't over - she still will have to learn a new way of living and overcome whatever lastilng effects her childhood must have on her. But she will have help, because it's easy to see that a girl who grew up the way she did isn't going to have it easy. She had to learn to take care of herself early in life, and to teach herself. I didn't have the chance to learn to take care of myself because my family prevented me from it. And that is much harder to explain or understand.

Good job making your recovery a priority. I've also spent a lot of time in therapy, and reading and doing workbooks and working on recovery. And it is worth it.

[Melbadaze]

I didnt read the link, I saw the threads title and clicked on it...why didnt I read the link?? I think a few yrs back I would have done...I was almost caught up in this victim like mentality and wanted to read all I could on abuse and neglect and such..today I dont compare....and dont need to tell the world my whole story...something about that kind of cheapen's it for me now....just my feelings.