self-knowledge

I wish to discuss learning about oneself. It's a major pasttime of mine. Maybe an obssession.

I like to gather objective data as well as use intuition to understand myself better, including aptitudes and abilities as well as personality and temperament. Anyone care to comment?

Good post cms. I spent a lot of my time in therapy learning more about myself. It's my belief that we need to understand ourself before we can understand others. For example, what causes me anger, sadness, happiness, etc.

Something else I've really worked hard on has been figuring out what I really think about things. Once I do that and know where I stand on something, I feel confident to take the appropriate actions for myself.

I'm convinced that knowing myself well helps my self esteem a great deal. If I see things I don't like about myself I can make changes and I can feel good about the things I do like about myself. Seems as though I am continually working on making changes. lol.

I've found that if I have a ten minute reflection a few times a day, I've been able to figure out alot. For instance, I stop a few times a day (when I can, of course) and reflect on the day so far (i.e. what's happened and my responses/feelings pertaining to it). It's really helped me to not only learn more about my actions/reactions, it's helped me to learn to predict them by reflecting. It's actually helped me in future similar events.

Another thing it's done is to help me to recognize more fully little things that make me happy or feel peace that I wouldn't have noticed before. I recognize them more fully the next time and, therefore, appreciate them more in the moment.

Good post!

KD

Good thread!

I defintely try to learn about myself, but I've found that I can't spend too much time on it. Focusing too much on myself tends to make me feel depressed.

Hi Kimmydawn,
Your reflection sounds like a good mindfulness practice. I just may have to adopt that for myself.

Good for you!

gg

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JustBen said:
I defintely try to learn about myself, but I've found that I can't spend too much time on it. Focusing too much on myself tends to make me feel depressed.

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Hi Ben,

Good point. The famous German philosopher Goethe, said "If a man stops to ponder over his physical or moral condition, he generally discovers that he is ill."

Of course, this is true, but IMHO it is different from working out how we can best relate to others and improve our lives.

For instance, learning to control a quick temper has overwelming advantages for the sufferer, I would say life changing advantages.

Also, learning to push against our blocks (like my recent foray into performance poetry) is hugely beneficial. Learning to go through the triggers and negative fears and come out the other side - we can find that we have strengths we never knew we had.

So I guess introspection needs a method - a way of doing it, or else we can fall into 'navel gazing' which is probably what you were thinking of?

Cheers, M

Exactly right, Myzen. "Navel Gazing" is a good way to put it. So what is everyone's method for introspection?

I spend all day thinking, who am I? who am I? When I was in partial hospitalization they asked me and I could recite back to them things yet I couldn't feel deep down who I was. I read it's a part of borderline personality to not know who you are, to do things that get reactions because reactions are the only things that let you grasp at a shred of identity. In therapy I have a Christian psychiatrist and we working on seeing myslef as a child of God. It's like knowing me is a battle that I just cannot win.

I guess I was talking more about learning more, discovering what I like to do, am good at, and what I'd like to read and learn more about. I'm developing a reading list and such.

Perhaps, when younger, I sought out information and opinions so that I could find what suited me best. Since my injury, my head trauma..and all.. PTSD.. I have spent the latter part of my life trying to learn who the "new" me is.. and why I react or act the way I do now... and how to function better being disabled. I find myself constantly thinking, in reply to anyone IRL oh, I Used to... used to.... that is all ancient history now... I have told others, when they ask me to share... "All my stories are old." (as opposed to theirs being current and active.) My hobby used to be learning. (See, there I said it again.)

I tend to "enjoy" (if I enjoy anything) reading quatum physics, about how the brain works... and how the body/mind connection works... when I have clear thought, I like to ponder gravity... and am sure that it isn't what most ppl think it is... but can't prove it.

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

Getting to know yourself is hard! That's what I've been working on in therapy for the last several weeks. One thing that I just learned recently is that I have to look at the bad things too, not just the good things. Actually, I can see the bad things, but so many people have told me not to dwell there, that those aren't the things that I come up with. But the good things I can't believe unless it comes from someone else. If I thought something good about myself I might just be making it up or something.

I'm about to post an exercise for getting to know yourself. Ya'll might want to try it with me.

Who am I??? What's it all about Alfie?????? This is THE question, isn't it? Growing up in a very unpredictable envionment, never knowing when "the other shoe" was gonna come outa nowhere and kick me in the guts.... getting blamed and punished for things I hadn't done..... having absolutely no feeling of control over anything by controlling my own behavior, it was like trying to figure out who i was in a hurricane...... good luck.

A few years ago I realised that one of the greatest gifts my shrink was giving me was a point of stability: She held still. She always gave me respect and consideration and an ear and, and, and... She didn't be one way one visit and another way another. She was consistant, I could triangualte my self off her, plus off "the world" to learn to recognize my own position in the whole. A steady mirror. Rare in my life.

Once, I was soooo excited.... I'd found a friend I'd lost 40 something years ago. I was bursting with the good news, Oh, man, I just wanted to share my excitement, so I called to leave her a message.

WELL, of course, I got her machine which I totally expected, The thing that took me to another world was her message : to the effect that she was out of the office for a week AND SHE DID NOT WANT ANY MESSEGES LEFT ON HER MACHINE !!!! I was crushed, ready to be so disappointed, talk about popping my bubble...... when her voice continued with this phrase: "But, I will be glad to see you when I return" OH boy oh boy, did I need to hear those words. I could breath again.

BOUNDARIES -- she had them. WWhhhoooeeee, now I WAS IMPESSED. Man, I was reeling with impressed. Boundaries. It's all about boundaries. Knowing ourselves, knowing our needs and limits and respecting them in ourselves and acting on that info with confidence....... I was in a new world of understanding.

I wanted to do something, make her something to express how big this was for me and thank her for providing the place for such learning, so I made her a yellow ribbon, like they hang on champion horses, out of plastic CAUTION tape, and glued the word BOUNDARIES down the middle in silver glitter.

I was a little shy about giving it to her, but held my intent together and carried off the presentation at our next session. WELL much to my suprise and delight, SHE was stuggling with HER boundaries in her own life and my gift was as helpful to her as her messege had been to me.
It's still hanging on her door. Yee haaaa!

Shakespeare said: Unto thine own self be true, and it shall follow as night follows day, thou cannot be false to anybody. (I modified it for clarity and to include women.)

About five years ago, my first T gave me an assignment: Answer the question, "Who is Dave"? I tried all the obvious answers like "husband," "father," that whole list...none of the answers provided me with any satisfaction...

After all these years, the question still raises a knot in my stomach when I hear it.

DJ

I am working hard on knowing myself better for years now, especcialy for last five-sex months. Think that this is the first step toward the posibility to being real me.

During this process I had a lot ups and down and was surprised by many things I discovered.

Yes I don't want ppl to answer that question with what they do, what positions they hold... but of their own attributes that all together mean THEM!

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

I have been trying to get to know myself better more lately because of my classes at school which encourages self-awareness. However, the question of Who is Tracy? bugs me.
Who is Tracy?
I am a woman who dreams of helping others, serving God, improving myself and having good friends. I value hard work, honesty, family and friends. Since my parents and classmates in elementary/high school was very critical of me, I tend to think of myself in the negative. However, I have good qualities (smart, good listener, hard worker) and bad qualities (irritable sometimes, stubburn, slightly dysfunctional, lack some social skills and too moody). Er. Gee, I think I still overdid the negative list. I might want to look back over my list of postive qualities that I previously posted.

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hillbunnyb said:
Who am I??? What's it all about Alfie?????? This is THE question, isn't it? Growing up in a very unpredictable envionment, never knowing when "the other shoe" was gonna come outa nowhere and kick me in the guts.... getting blamed and punished for things I hadn't done..... having absolutely no feeling of control over anything by controlling my own behavior, it was like trying to figure out who i was in a hurricane...... good luck.

Hillbunnyb,
It sounds like we grew up in the same house. Congratulations on your escape. I know it's not easy.

I know that for me, self knowledge comes when it is reflected back to me from others.

Twinks

IMO the "who" part would be described as: dreamer, sensitive spirit with good ethics?

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

Yay; this thread I can really relate to.

I value my introspective intelligence above all others that I lack.

Recently I've been investigating personality types (I'm pretty sure I know what mine is despite only taking the cheap online tests) Pitiable I know! But when I know myself above all things else the "A-HA!" moments" confirm the gut feelings instantly. It's rather enlightening- well at least I get more out of it than talking. *phew*

Hehe my internal dialogue never shuts up so I'm never lonely
Although I often give me one hell of a headache. :P