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Member
Member Since Apr 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 33
13 |
May 11, 2011 at 02:42 PM
#1
One of the foundations of building self esteem is to accept yourself internally and all of your flaws for what they are and to be okay with them.
Here's my question: If you're accepting yourself and your flaws and being okay with them, then isn't desiring to improve your own self esteem contradictory? If you're accepting that your self esteem sucks and you're trying to be okay with it, then what motivation do you have to improve if your making yourself okay with such a huge issue in your life? I understand this thought process is flawed but I can't logically work out why. |
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 wing
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: MA
Posts: 432
14 |
May 11, 2011 at 03:26 PM
#2
hmm...well its not really contradicting i dont think because i think your self esteem levels are separate from the way you feel about yourself. self esteem is the way you feel about yourself as a whole, and you want to improve the way you look at yourself. by admitting your self esteem is low, then you can go to change it...but idk. lol. good question!
__________________ "Wounds heal and become scars. But scars grow with us" -Stanislaw Lec |
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wing
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2011
Posts: 18
13 |
May 11, 2011 at 04:49 PM
#3
I am not sure that being ok with your flaws and accepting them has to mean that you are not seeking to improve them. I think there is a healthy balance, one I'm still working towards, between recognizing where there is room for improvement, and accepting and valuing yourself as a worthy person despite your flaws. So a person with lower self-esteem can learn to see their flaws (and having low self-esteem would be one of these flaws) in a different way, as something that can be improved upon, but not as evidence that the person is worthless or fundamentally flawed, and this can be the key to improving self-esteem. Essentially: "I am flawed, and I am going to work on improvement, but that's ok, and I'm an ok person."
I think there can be a really fine line between complacency and growth. Of course to improve one has to see the flaws, however large or small, but one doesn't have to take those flaws to mean everything is wrong. What a great question! I never thought to look at the building of self-esteem in that way, it really is a challenge. |
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wing
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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