[justempty]

Whoever it was that was talking about looks being all that seems to matter in the world was right. I've been on both sides of this. I felt very plain up until the end of high school. Then, all of a sudden, things changed and I started being told all the time I was pretty, even beautiful, and got a lot of attention. It was this way until I was around 45. Because I was very shy my whole life and wasn't able to win people over with my personality, I came to depend on this as a way to feel like I was important.

I am now almost 52. The last 10 years or so have caused the usual changes in looks when you start getting older. I have noticed such a drastic change in the way I am treated now. When I used to walk by people, they used to look at me and say hello. Now, I walk by people expecting that, and they just seem to walk by and look straight ahead. I used to turn heads, and am now invisible. That's devastating to someone who doesn't have a great personality to fall back on. I know why women spend so much on plastic surgery. Society is so cruel to older women!

I recently lost my husband to cancer. He always made me feel very beautiful and desirable and loved. And now I feel like the rest of my life will be spent alone and all I have to look forward to is becoming an old woman!

Let me just say, I KNOW that looks are not the most important thing in life, in fact they should be far down the list. And I'm not saying I'm ugly now. Just looking older. And I know there are a lot more important things to be thankful for and care about. But I feel so much like I've become unimportant because of this.

Hope that you can understand where I'm coming from, and that this post doesn't make me appear shallow. It's just making me feel extremely depressed today, to where I don't even want to be seen. And I was just wondering what you all might have to say about it.

Thanks for listening!

[lynn P.]

Thank you for sharing ((justempty)) and no I don't think you're shallow. I'm very sorry you lost your husband. I agree it is unfair the perception society has towards older women compared to older man. For example. men are still considered attractive if they're gray and have wrinkles. Unattractive men can also get young gorgeous women if they're rich -example Hugh Hefner...IMO eeewwwww.

I can relate a bit to how you feel. I used to be a model when I was was in my teens and early twenties.....always turning heads. Even sometimes I didn't like the attention but it's still a self esteem boost nevertheless. True I don't turn as many heads but when I'm all fixed up, I jokingly say I've still got it lol. I do believe if a woman eats well and exercises, she can still be appealing - fabulous at 50, 60, 70 etc.

As far as not being lonely - I hope there's still men out there who don't have looks only as a priority. You also can discover your personality and the best way to do this is volunteer or join some hobby clubs. I don't know your age but if you're 50 and up you can join specific groups like this and even travel groups geared to your age.

Start exercising and eat healthy. Go out clothes shopping at a store that will help you boost your wardrobe. Sure you might be as young and attractive as before, but you can be your best now. Best of luck.