Wants to Improve Self Esteem

Hi All,

I am a 22 year old girl. I don't know whats gotten into me lately. I was never before this much concerned with looks. I was never a materialistic and shallow person but now I believe this obsession with looks has taken control of me. I keep looking at celebrity photos ask myself what do people find pretty in them their just normal (except for a few) and I am also ok looking why don't people find me pretty- and the thing is this when people (especially guys) do compliment me I don't believe them and tell them this straight away. I think this has something to do with my childhood. I grew up being bullied about some of my features by my family ,especially my nose (although whenever I asked my friends regarding this they said it was fine). I aso can't compliment others easily for their looks. I so want to get out of this but can't. Please tell me how.

Beauty is from the inside out

I want to believe that too but somehow for the past one or two years this stupid thought has stuck into my mind and I want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Is this true that the people who are closer to you, their words matter the most ?

Hi One of the simple ways to improve your self esteem is hypnosis. It can help you to believe in you. I used hypnosis a few times in my life for various issues I had and it seemed to work quickly. I used it about 2 weeks every day and could see some results after the first week
I tried going to hypnotherapists but they were too expensive and I started using recordings and they are great. I used these guys as they record high quality and effective recordings. sorry guys I can not insert any links at the moment so contact me for details I think it was on unknownhypnbosis website.

I hope I am not going to get banned for this link but just want to help
by the way do not overdo it.

regards
Mike

I have learned to try and take it easy on myself. I'm worth it and I know you are too!

I would start believing (on faith if you don't see it) what others tell you. If someone says something to you, that is how they are perceiving you so you can't really "deny" it as it isn't your perception. Start asking others about their perception of you as "pretty" (or anything else; smart, fun, good sense of humor, etc.) and looking for what they see, in yourself. It has to be there in some way, they have nothing to gain by telling you something they don't see?

The more you look for and see good things in yourself, the more they will manifest. I'm not talking about being fake; think of some things that could improve your looks, like smiling often, and teach yourself to do that until it is a learned behavior. I've been told my eyes light up and sparkle when I do/talk about X so I practice doing/talking about X more often! That sort of thing.

I understand how you feel. I was a very very (VERY) ugly kid from grade school through middle school. And a less ugly, but still ugly girl from high school through early college years. And so I too have become obsessed with looks. I changed my hair color and instantly I became pretty...it was kind of odd really that one simple change was all it took. So, basically I'm obsessed with my hair.

Also with losing weight—I apparently haven't lost enough weight yet to make a difference in how people perceive me (at least not at the same level as my hair).

I've also felt like I've had to "feminize" myself. I've always been boyish...I generally prefer men's clothes except they're way too big usually now that I'm skinnier. But I feel more compelled to wear makeup and somewhat more effeminate clothes. I don't like people being able to look at me and immediately knowing what my sexual orientation is (or rather is not).

I don't know how else to get out of it except changing the way you look...which I'll probably get blasted for saying. I'm not going to say that that will instantly give you tons of self-esteem (as I still have low self-esteem in regards to my looks), but at least I don't think I'm the ugliest person around anymore. And all I did was change my hair color, put on a little makeup, and compromised my clothing style between what I like and what is more "appropriate" for lack of a better word.