Turning Negatives into Positives.....

Hi All,
I have suffered from low/non-existant self esteem ever since I can remember. I have always been on the larger end of the weight scale & used to get bullied badly coz I wasn't the shape of other girls.....

It's so much easier to believe the bad things about ourselves than to work at finding the positives instead.

I know that due to my lack of self esteem, this has contributed to my depression, but I am determined to slow & surely replace the negatives with positives.

I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I do deserve a happy life!!

I have no idea on how to go about making a new recording for myself!!!

Flinty

You are beautiful, intelligent, and you do deserve a happy life!



If you are interested you might want to raid a public library or bookstore and stock up on books on cognitive behavioral training, on ways to overcome negative self-talk and related topics. You can pick one thing and give it a try, we can even have several of us pick goals like this, report to each other regularly, as a way to support each other.

Habit change can actually be quite fun!

I'm working on issues like this, I am aware that I tend to collect bad things about myself and ignore positive.

I think first knowing what our tendency is, is the first step towards possible change. We can be scientists in terms of being interested in our patterns and then experimenting with what we can do to change.

CedarS
Thank you so much for your imput.....
I hadn't even thought about paying a visit to my library to do some research on changing my own negative thoughts!!!

Flinty, start with getting to know yourself, what you like (your sense of humor perhaps?) and what helps you when you are having troubles (your honesty?) and build on those. Thank yourself when you help yourself and get to know and truly enjoy the fun things about you and those attributes and aspects will lead you naturally to more. You're focusing on your negatives; just switch your focus to your positives so they can help you. That's where your wonderful intelligence comes in. Too, it's okay not to like aspects of ourselves, our weight (I'm 265 so know about being overweight and underfit :-) but those are not "us" they're external features. I'm finally, at age 56, getting my physical act together and working to improve my health which is mostly a matter of losing weight and increasing fitness. I'm having a really good time thinking up ways do that in ways that I enjoy. Our bodies are part of us, they've done some really wonderful things for us, taking abuse/overeating and managing to still work well. I sometimes talk to my body as I would a friend, apologizing for relying on so much to help me with some of my mental stresses, ignoring it/not having time for it, etc. It makes a big difference in how I feel/think about my problems.

The Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns, MD is a good book on CBT. It has some good techniques to help you think of replacement thoughts for the negative. I sometimes draft other people into my pursuit too. I find that if two or three people tell me that its okey to not finish all my work asignments, I get it faster. I hope it works on other negative thinking patterns.
Mood Gym which is a cool website based on Rational Emotive Therapy and CBT. I think there is an old link to it in psychotherapy that is titled free T. It has some thinking techniques to help one to re-think things.

FLINTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are an awesome person and you give the best feedback and put people on positive notes!!!!!!!!!!

Milly

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” Viktor Frankl

That is awesome. check out the books by Ester and Jerry Hicks and healing cards as well. Hay House also has cards to looks at which are great for self esteem. Wayne Dyer has excellent books Like "The Power of Intention" and please read Norman Vincent Peale. Remember there is a way, and you have to make it with God's help. I am growing due to using this way of living. I was very down on the world, my attitudes, and on myself at one time in my life but all of that changed, thank God and thanks to my discovery, which is similar to yours. Razeljenny

Dearest Flinty

BRAVO!!!!!! KEEP it up no matter what " JUst keep GOing Just Keep GOing JUSt keep GOing going. " x10000000000000000000000000 especially when ur feeling down tell urself ur NOT going to be down FOrever ok . YOU CAN DO IT GIRL and ALL OF U includ3d me (((((((((((((((((((((ALL)))))))))))))))))))))

with love
carol@hoshime unami

Thank you all so much for your imput & support!!!

It makes all the difference when trying to undo the old bad habbits of the past.

I am succeeding, but in small steps.... but as they say -
It won't happen overnight, but it can happen!!!

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

woww coollllllllllll I am so proud of you though I dont know U that well But I can see that Ur on the track yup yup yup yup take one step at a time ok dont force urself or letting others to force you. Only you know ur limits ok bravo bravo bravo hugiessssssssssssssss

with love
carol@hoshime unami

I feel bad because I have mocked people for being overweight back in high school, but I wouldn't act like that now because I know and see how it is harmful and cruel.

I think you should reassure yourself each day that you are good and deserve happiness, because that is the right thing for you to do. A person whoever they are DOES deserve that.

mrpieeater,
there is no need to feel bad for things you may have done in the past!

I have turned a negative into a positive.
From time to time, I become very concious of my body & how ashamed I am of it!
So I'm going to be taking part in belly dancing lessons, starting next monday!!!

How to make a new recording for yourself? Ah! That we would all work harder at this. Thought blocking is important. Learning to recognize the negative, sometimes irrational thoughts about ourselves is important, and then stopping them when they begin to play.

Then, replace those errant thoughts with good ones. "Well, I might have been that way in the past, but I don't do that now." Counter the negative.

It takes many, many times of playing the good stuff to begin to think it just might be true... you've heard the negative thousands of times. Take care.

Believe in Him or not --- GOD LOVES YOU!

Want to share your Christian faith? Click HERE

good advice sky...yup...you have to stop the negative thoughts in their tracks and just begin by saying something nice about yourself...like gee my hair looks good today! so glad you are doing belly dancing! that is one way to get back into shape and fun at the same time!! bravo!