[Max Ra]

Please give any ideas and suggestions on getting rid of 'approval seeking'. If any causes come to mind apart from parental disapproval .. please share that too.

[Gus1234U]

i believe it is important to have an inner anchor. "finding yourself" can take many forms. one way might be meditation; another might be service to others. anything that brings your attention to your own internal dialogue and feelings, and gives you a way to move towards balance and self reliance is to be considered, i think.

best wishes,
Gus

[spondiferous]

I agree. Find something you care about that makes you feel good. And do something for others: the exact opposite of approval seeking. You'll be amazed at the inner transformation.
It's a process, as I said elsewhere. How serious are you about changing it? It's not going to be easy. You will have to come back to it time and time again, and be patient.

[psychmajortwenty2]

I have this same thing! I think I've slowly been working on this...

I went to a counselor my last year of university. She noted that I seem to need validation for everything that I did. I thought, up until that point, that I was a fiercely independent person... and I think I was. It was just in some areas of my life.. I always needed approval. Like I needed to check that it was okay that this or that thing was my opinion. That it was okay to have an opinion. Weird... I know.

Anyways. I think the way to get rid of approval seeking is to realize your self-worth. You are you - you were put here to be you. If everyone on this planet was meant to be the same, then we all wouldn't have turned out differently. You have your own perspective for a reason. You have something unique to contribute! As long as it makes you happy, you shouldn't give a damn about what other people think about it. (Unless you're a psychopath... but there are ways to cope with that too... Dexter anybody? JK!!)

But seriously. I guess... it's just.. figuring out who you are and having self-respect and self-compassion enough to know that what you think is good enough.

[Arha]

Me too.

I seek validation when I feel angry, sad, when I achieve, when I don't...
I was surprised to learn this, because I can be very opinionated, very emphatic, because getting things right is so important to me.
It really helps to realise I am doing it, the next part is to trust myself and my opinions, and I'm working on it. It isn't simple to do though.