[Webgoji]

I've found that I've grown to resent the things that used to make me feel good about myself. Basically, I've taken enough of a beating in those activities that I don't even want to touch them anymore.

Maybe some examples would help make sense:

Writing - My first book, The Fey Dragon Chronicles, was an easy and cheesy fantasy novel, but my second novel, The Seraphim Protocol, was my magnum opus. It seriously was the best thing I ever wrote albeit emotionally difficult to read and controversial in nature. I'm the first to admit that I'm no Stephen King by any means, but I do write better than probably 80% of the garbage on the Barnes and Noble shelves.

The problem is that I write in a vacuum. As I told my wife, Stephen King had one HUGE fan. Tabitha. She's the reason Carrie was published and the reason King became the writer he is today. I, on the other hand, can't get anyone to read my work nor can I even remotely get a critique so I can get better.

Now that I started on a couple of novels, Of Gnomes and Trolls and The Wintermist Witch, I can't even sit down to them without getting angry and sick. Two paragraphs and I give up because it doesn't matter anyway.

Coaching Youth Sports - There is nothing better than taking a group of wee ones that have never dribbled a basketball and by the end of the season, they are running designed plays, communicating on the court and taking shots they never thought they would ever try.

But the parents want wins. I don't get paid to get wins, I don't get paid at all. They complain about their kid not getting enough time. They complain about their kid being held back by the boy that has never shot on a 10' goal before.

So I find myself not running the game the way that I want; so the less-experienced kids get to play alongside the more athletic kids so they can learn, I leave everyone out for a half and then switch, not taking kids out of situations they're struggling in and just wanting it to be over.

Weightlifting - When I was younger I was the state powerlifting champion in my weight division. But I was bursting blood vessels in my head. Now I can't lift big so going to the gym is like eating a rice cake with someone eating pizza in front of me.

So enough about that. I'm depressing myself. Lol?

Has anyone found a way to overcome resenting what you loved to do or what made you feel good about yourself? How did you do it? I would really like to learn how to make it work again.

[Webgoji]

Oh - Meditation

I found myself teaching instead of being able to just participate. As the most advanced student in the temple I actually started regressing because I was constantly distracted during meditation by answering the door, helping others or whatnot.

A hypenated word for you: self-publishing. Online. There have been amazing successes and it is exactly where I'm going once the rewrites are finished. Don't give up. If it's good, there will be an audiance. Just don't give up.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by KathyOlivia

A hypenated word for you: self-publishing. Online. There have been amazing successes and it is exactly where I'm going once the rewrites are finished. Don't give up. If it's good, there will be an audiance. Just don't give up.

I actually was working on getting The Seraphim Protocol self-published. I don't have the equipment or ability to make a good cover design so I was just struggling along trying to get it done.

Problem is, as the resentment has grown, so has my distaste for my book. I can't even stand to pick it up, much less actually finish the steps to get it published.

That's where I'm having the problem. I'm not sure how to overcome this resentment so that I can do what I enjoy. It's like wanting to cross the road, but not being able to get the cross-walk lights to work.

Originally Posted by Webgoji

I actually was working on getting The Seraphim Protocol self-published. I don't have the equipment or ability to make a good cover design so I was just struggling along trying to get it done.

Problem is, as the resentment has grown, so has my distaste for my book. I can't even stand to pick it up, much less actually finish the steps to get it published.

That's where I'm having the problem. I'm not sure how to overcome this resentment so that I can do what I enjoy. It's like wanting to cross the road, but not being able to get the cross-walk lights to work.

I do know how you feel although I hate saying that because is sounds such a platitude. Being a writer, however and having suffered what you're going thru, I think gives me a unique corner with which observe.

I don't think I was clear tho....self-publishing using sites such as amazon...in other words, an e-book. With the advent of kindle and their ilk they can be amazingly successful. At least look it up. It might be an interesting distraction from your malaise, at the very least....