[winterglen]

I spent the whole day doing laundry. I washed my clothes, and then I washed my clothes again because I realized I forgot to put in detergent.

I wasted my entire afternoon.

And I was crying and my parents were like it's just a mistake, but it's not just a mistake because I keep making them. Other people read into my mistakes, realizing that if I keep making the same mistakes over and over, then I'm not trying hard enough.

I hate being such a f--up. I want to stop messing up so much and I don't know how. It seems like I keep failing every time I try. My parents don't get that they can't help. I know I should be grateful that they want to help but they just can't. What I need is whatever is going to transform me into someone who gets things accomplished and does things well, otherwise I'll be utterly worthless.

I want to be able to support myself, but people only want to hire someone who has the skills that I don't have, that I'll never have because they assume that I should have learned them by now. They want people with records going back to preschool about how productive and reliable they are, and I just don't have that. I have no hope of competing with the overachieving crowd. The only purpose I have in this world is as a horrible example of the loser that someone can become if she doesn't make the right choices in life.

[tranquility84]

Hi winterglen, just want to let you know that you are not alone in this. I too feel like a loser and underachiever with no more shot in life. I have been unemployed for the past 2 months because I could no longer function at work due to depression; also am deep in credit card debt chalked up during my manic depression.

For the past 2 months I have not stepped outta my house. I spent most of my days in bed watching dvds. But today I managed to stay get outta my bed after I got up this morning! I guess what I am trying to say is, things do get better. One day at a time. Keep hanging in there!

[unaluna]

Yeah? And yet you are quite the meticulous writer, so... what's up with that?

[healingme4me]

Reminds me of this book , I once read. Potty Trained for Yale. It talks of how much we lose out, when we push too hard. Actually, my one line synopsis, doesn't do the books message, justice.
I am the 'under achiever', in my family, sort of. What really happened, my priorities shifted, radically, through major loss.
Family values, long before kids, hit home, during the ambitious rat race years. Prestigious business university, but without the same corporate desires of those I was surrounding myself with. Never mind feeling like, some of those around me, were destined for better jobs because of who their parents knew.
Then recession number one happened, and wall street crashed.
I realized, that those who weren't striving for greatness, had placed themselves, in positions, where they had been working while I took, the ambitious college route. Debt free, buying homes, and content with their lot in life. Family came first, over ambition.
Don't know, if that helps.

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