[Verity81]

I'm extremely low in self compassion and working on it but I'm so used to verbally beating myself up after years of emotional abuse by my mother that it's hard to get out of the habit!

Anyone have any tips?

I'm trying to take care of myself via exercise and noticing judgemental thoughts I'm having but I think I'm scared of turning out selfish like my mother!

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[Little Lulu]

I can't recall if I have sent this to you before but Kristin Neff is a specialist in self compassion. Here is a link to her website.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...66111022,d.aWw

It sounds like you are doing some very positive things. I don't think it is uncomon for people initially are working on self-care to fear the 'I will become selfish' idea. When your motives are clean, your work can only benefit you AND others.

Some of the things I have done -

Make time for my hobby that I really enjoy
Do some spiritual reading each day
Ask for help when I need it (this one is important - we can't go it alone!)
Sit down and rest when I am tired
Get a good night's sleep
Pick some mantras that feel real to me and use them
Eat healthy and stay hydrated
Forgive myself for mistakes (this one takes time, effort and help after years of self-condemnation)
Get a mentor (I found one in a support group)
Believe I deserve to be at peace, just as everyone else does

As I have gotten healthier, those old resentments at my parents, etc. have melted away.

Best wishes!

[Resonance18]

Hi there,

I guess my only tip is to deeply realize that it's not your fault.
The constant blaming towards yourself and bad feeling you feel about yourself are a results of someone's else behavior (your mom).
Dr. phil once said that it's ok to feel sad about it, but we shouldn't give them the power to manipulate and control our lives at this point.

[Fuzzybear]