[winterglen]

I've been learning new job duties, and I very frequently mess up and have to ask for help.

My coworkers say they're okay with me asking for help, but I'm worried that I'll reach the limits of their patience. I worry that they're only saying that so they can play the good guy in this scenario while I play the annoying, clueless person that everyone hates.

That was basically how it was growing up: not understanding what it was about me that made people reject me. I know somewhat better about what behaviors are not acceptable and I'm trying to avoid them, but I don't really know how to see myself any other way than as someone who will draw out other people's meanness. I feel like I have to work so much harder to be accepted, and I am so far from achieving it.

[Little Lulu]

Being new in a job automatically puts you in a somewhat 'dependent' position, which can raise old experiences and fears. I realize your post isn't really about the new job duties but more about fear of not being accepted by others. However, try keeping notebook and write things down as you learn them and refer back to it so that you don't have to ask your co-workers so often. This has really helped me in the past and it lessens that helpless feeling when you are new.

Beyond that, take a few minutes each day just to chat or laugh with your co-workers ... something not job-related like ask about their kids, family, etc. It will take the pressure off.

One day at a time ... that's all you have to do is one day at a time.

[fullmetalchampion]

I've always thought I was that person at my job. I started working over a year ago and I would ask them for help for a lot of things, and I still do. I also used to be the student who was scared to ask questions because there are such things as stupid questions, at least there were in my head. I took away two things from these different scenarios - by not asking the questions I needed, I didn't get everything I needed to know. At work, I have messed up before, but this is a paying job... I feel I need to know what I'm doing in order to continue to get paid!

It's like little lulu said, you are at a new job. Give yourself room to breathe What helped me get over the whole "What if I'm asking too many questions" monster leech stuck on my brain was this - I'd rather know everything I need by asking, than miss out on crucial things. Good performance gives me another day of getting paid. Most important - I didn't screw anything up because I wasn't afraid to ask, and I am still there today.

What kind of silences that monster is me saying, hey... new job. Give me some space, I don't know everything yet I am learning. What has made me feel better is I've seen people who have been there a decade have made small mistakes or forgotten how to do something simple that even I know how to do, but even they ask to make sure they got it right, and hey - maybe that's why they're still there?

Part of me still thinks yes, I am annoying because yes I still have questions, but the larger part of me says I am human, and I know more today than I knew yesterday. I retain a lot more because of this, and I have fewer questions now because of repetition, committing it to memory over time and help from my co-workers!