[98lovinglife]

Since I was young I've always been bullied and now I'm not confident in myself at all. how can I build it up again?

[glok]

Hello, 98lovinglife.

How To Raise Your Self-Esteem | Psych Central

I wish you well.

[Perna]

Self esteem is what you want to think about yourself. So you are not good at fast comebacks or your fists, do you want to be? You could learn both of those if you wanted. But start where you are, do you make yourself laugh/like your sense of humor? Do you read a lot of fantasy, have a good imagination? We are all born with traits we can build on if we want. Figure out what you have inherited (natural interest or ability in certain subjects (math, music) good sense of direction, Interests vs. Aptitudes) and what interests you and figure out how to put those two together to enjoy what you are doing and achieve goals that please you. Pleasing yourself is self esteem.

Originally Posted by 98lovinglife

Since I was young I've always been bullied and now I'm not confident in myself at all. how can I build it up again?

Hello 98lovinglife: I understand this. I'm an older person now. But when I was in school, many years ago now, I was bullied both verbally & physically for years. And you're absolutely correct. It can seriously damage your self-confidence for years to come. There are studies being done now showing the negative effects of bullying can last well into a person's adulthood... even for a lifetime. So what you're experiencing is perfectly normal for a victim of bullying. You should not for a moment think it is any reflection on you or your character (if, in fact, this is something that has occurred to you.)

As a victim of bullying, one thing I would recommend, if you don't already have it, is therapy. You need to talk this through with a professional who has experience working with people who have been bullied. Bullying can be not that different from what victims of torture experience. I don't know what your particular experience of bullying was like. But bullying can be serious business. And, depending on how serious your experience was, you may well need to process what happened to you before you can really recover fully. It's important not to minimize your experience.

Beyond that, one way of helping yourself to recover your self-confidence is to achieve new success. As the saying goes: "Success breeds success." In the beginning, choose small things you know you can succeed at. Accomplish them. Then move on to some things that are, perhaps, a little bit more challenging, etc. Reward yourself each time you succeed. The more of these little successes you experience, the better you'll feel about yourself. You'll be able to look back & see a whole string of accomplishments you can be proud of & your self-confidence will grow accordingly.

Some people also benefit from self-affirmations. The classic one is: "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better & better." But there are many others as well. You could come up with a number of them, write them out on pieces of paper & put them up on your walls at home & / or anyplace else where you'll see them regularly. Meditation & various forms of exercise may also be of benefit. In fact, combining a number of different approaches may be the most effective approach of all. A qualified therapist will be able to help you with all of this. Good luck!

[summerblueskies]

Originally Posted by 98lovinglife

Since I was young I've always been bullied and now I'm not confident in myself at all. how can I build it up again?

I also struggled with being bullied. I was so shy and had few friends. It made me an easy target I guess. In high school only one girl would hang out with me, she knew she was my only friend and was abusive to me. I am trying to get my self esteem back up but oh it is a very slow process! it takes patience and you have to work on it every day