[RW10]

It's almost years since I graduated college. I haven't made more than $16/hr. I'm a pathetic loser. I have made commission of $5000 from real estate which is good. But, I've never made more than $35,000 a year in my life.

I feel like life is not worth it. I under earn financially persistently. I mean persistently. I feel like life is kicking me around.

I hate money. I hate it. I hate making it.

My father once told me I was only good in school and not outside of school. I think it's where my under earning habits started.

Because I don't feel worthy of being given at least $60k for a living...I have no confidence for finding a great wife. I feel like I could fail.

I will go to a therapist soon. To sum it up, I need help with feeling financially and relationship worthy.

Suggestions?

Hi RW10, firstly I'm not from the US so please excuse my ignorance - the figures you quote mean very little to me. What I will say is that my gut response from reading your post is that you sound like you are trying hard, earning a living - those are good achievements IMO.

This:

My father once told me I was only good in school and not outside of school

... is a pretty bad thing to say to anyone let alone a parent to child, I'm so sorry you had that weight put on you and you've absorbed it and carried it. I don't know about under earning habits but it's probably part of your feelings of unworthiness. (and as a parent myself it's a good reminder to be careful of things I say to my own child and how I say them, so thank you for that).

There is a thread on here which you may find helpful about self compassion:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/steps...ompassion.html

Unlike self-esteem, self compassion is not reliant on achievements, it's about acceptance of flaws/perceived failings - I found this perspective very helpful.

Take care!

[gayleggg]

I think going into therapy is a wonderful idea. We all have to unlearn some to the things that our parents told us about ourselves. Therapy can help you do this.

Your self worth is not to be based on how much money you make. Work on your self-esteem and not how much money you are making.