This is a bugbear of mine, I'm aware of it and have strategies in place but it still causes me pain.

In a recent situation where I was at fault (nothing awful just something minor but it upset a client) I apologised immediately, which is my normal reaction (especially in professional situations).

However I'm aware that once away from the immediate situation, despite having apologised and if necessary correcting the situation, I then tend to go quiet and subdued. I seem to absorb a lot and not be able to shrug things off, I reproach myself for mistakes I have made. I go through what I should have done differently, and feel bad about myself, sometimes I withdraw - avoiding company.

Does anyone else have this kind of reaction?

What coping strategies do you use when handling criticism?

[CANDC]

prefab, I am a great one for Monday morning quarterbacking: "If I had said this instead of that it would have turned out differently. Sometimes that is a help though for future situations.

I try to not dwell on the mistakes but ignore them and try to get to the effective communication I had wanted to have in the first place. Apologizing is good, "but what I really thought you could benefit from was ..." and then get back to where you were going.

Originally Posted by CANDC

prefab, I am a great one for Monday morning quarterbacking: "If I had said this instead of that it would have turned out differently. Sometimes that is a help though for future situations.

I try to not dwell on the mistakes but ignore them and try to get to the effective communication I had wanted to have in the first place. Apologizing is good, "but what I really thought you could benefit from was ..." and then get back to where you were going.

Thanks CANDC, I find I can normally do that at the time, especially in a professional situation, but it's afterwards when I go back over it. Monday morning quarterbacking just about covers it, I think it's part of my nature to 'over think' and something I really need to get on top of.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I will beat myself up over the tiniest mistake for an unreasonable amount of time; I will run through it in my head over and over again, agonising over how stupid/awful or whatever I was at the time. There is nothing more unproductive, is there? It literally serves no purpose whatsoever. It is fine to reflect upon something in the aftermath, but beating yourself up over it is just beyond pointless. And yet, I cannot stop doing it. The evil scripts are running the show here, unfortunately. =/