BDD and Plastic Surgery.

Hello,
I have BDD, and a severe case of it, too It consumes my life! I've posted before, but I feel I need to vent here. I may be annoying.
My BDD has gotten to a point where I'm now dying for surgery. I've begged my fiance to set up a consultation and possibly have done, a certain procedure that I want. He's begging me not to, though. It's just so damned tough, going through this everyday.
I cry all the time, I can't look in a mirror. My self-esteem is NIL! I've never felt so eaten alive inside
I have a therapist, am on medication, and all of this is still not combating this ugly monster.
I feel like I'm the ugly monster.
I would really love to hear stories of people here who have BDD, what you do to cope, have you thought or have done plastic surgery, or just people who have had it and over came it.
Or just understanding people.

Welcome, Summer. I don't have any answers, and I'm not sure what BDD is. There are forums for bipolar disorder and self-injury.

I would like to have cosmetic surgery because I am old, but I don't hate myself or anything like that.

BDD = Body dysmorphic disorder

Can't find the words right now...wanted to say welcome and that I read your post and the I and all of care...

Hey summer,

I've never been diagnosed with BDD, but I have extreme self esteem issues and literally hate everything about myself.. it's a hard thing to deal with. I understand that everyone in the world could tell you they find you to be beautiful, but it's never something that you can accept as truth.

I've never sought help for it, though my doctors do know about my extreme self esteem problems. They don't really seem to do anything to help them, though.. so I don't know what to do. I've never considered plastic surgery only because I've watched those shows about it and so many horrible things can happen!

My best advice would be to listen to your fiance. He loves you just as you look now, and if he doesn't want you to do it, you should really consider his opinion.

Summer, have you talked to your therapist about the surgery? The big concern I would have is that you might have the surgery and it wouldn't change the way you see yourself. And if one surgery didn't actually make anything better, you could decide that you need more surgeries, and it could be a never-ending cycle of continuing surgeries and still feeling bad and your self-esteem could get even worse.

If you have BDD, then chances are there is nothing wrong with your body, and you are beautiful just as you are, and your discomfort actually has to do with something else. Finding out what the real issue is through therapy will help you a lot more than having surgery to change your body.

I hope that you find the answers. This forum is not as widely read as some of the others. If you would like to make a post in General asking for anyone with BDD to read this thread, I think that would be fine too. Or maybe try asking in the Eating Disorders forum, even if you don't have an eating disorder. Your post is appropriate here - just trying to think of where you are most likely to find others with BDD.

Rap

I found an article on BDD in case you are interested:
http://www.hypnos.co.uk/hypnomag/sterndale.htm

Hey Summer,
I have BDD and I actually got cosmetic surgery and it helped for about 2 weeks. I almost got more procedures done as well but my family talked me out of it.

I am having to learn to love myself and who I am because no matter what I change on the outside, I am still that miserable self-loathing person on the inside.

Thank you for all your replies I greatly appreciate it. I am scared to death of any sort of surgery, but my mind tells me otherwise all the time.
I guess I'll have to talk to my therapist about it...it is a little embarrassing.
Although, I have made a BIG step today and looked in an actual full length mirror, without breaking down, crying and going into a severe state of depression. It may sound insignificant, but I haven't done that in years...I hope this is not just a bought of happiness or energy, and it'll disappear later on, today.

Brava, Sunflower, Brava! This is a huge step for you. I didn't know what BDD was when you first wrote. Now that I understand, I am with those who counsel against surgery. I'm sure you know deep down that what is required is an inside change, not external change.

My brother has BDD. He's had three nose surgeries and is now looking into a fourth. Don't have surgery, there's nothing wrong with you physically. Spend the time and money on psychiatric treatment for BDD, and do it soon. Otherwise you will live an unfulfilled, unhappy existence.

Congratulations, summerflower, on being able to look in the mirror, a very significant achievement.

Perhaps unfairly, I ask you as a Ph.D candidate in Psychology how you would advise another who came to you with similar concerns?