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Twistedfate22
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Default Jun 03, 2016 at 01:08 AM
  #1
I am confused about life and social internations. I don't know if something is wrong with me. I don't have friends I can talk to really openly about my life and thoughts and feelings. It's all very superficial. Even friends who know my health issues and understand and care I feel like it never gets really "deep". Is that normal? Is it just as you get older and have kids and spouses you don't have those deep meaningful conversations with friends anymore? Everyone is too busy with their own lives to get deep every once and a while?

I'm really confused about this. I'm not a complainer at all so I don't think I annoy people with my issues. I also don't want anything from anyone other than just to be heard every once and a while. I usually just listen and comment on other peoples stuff but I don't get that back much. Basically I say a few things about my life and they make a single comment and that's it. . .When I feel I'm obviously reaching out needing to speak for a bit. Is this common? Maybe there's something wrong with me that I don't have those friendships.
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Default Jun 03, 2016 at 01:20 AM
  #2
No I don't think anything is wrong with you at all. I think most people are afraid to get "deep". I used to go into chatrooms all the time looking for a deep meaningful conversation and all I got was "I'm bored" as if I was supposed to entertain them. Fact is people are lame and mostly superficial.

If you want to talk deep send me a pm sometime! I can get deep! LOL!

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Default Jun 03, 2016 at 11:56 AM
  #3
Thanks lady shadow. As I get more comfortable here maybe I will take you up on that.

It just stinks. It makes me feel like no one cares enough about me to just listen and offer emotional support for 30 min or whatever. That's really all I want and I feel like something is wrong with me that I don't have that from anyone other than my husband. I even started therapy and my therapist doesn't even seem to understand that I just need to be heard. She wants to focus on fixing things when they can't be fixed, I just need a human connection. She kept asking my "goals" and didn't seem satisfied when I said unjust wanted someone to talk honestly with. That's it. Meaningful human connection.

Anyway just wondering how common this is? Or do people not crave this like I do? Maybe it's my personality and most people don't care if their interactions with others are superficial.
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Default Jun 08, 2016 at 11:37 PM
  #4
Just a thought but if you can talk to people who have similar interests (that's a good reason for being here too!) it will give you a chance to develop deeper bonds. The rest should follow. If you show and interest in others, eventually you will find people who show the same interest in youeven if it takes a while!
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Default Jun 10, 2016 at 11:17 AM
  #5
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Originally Posted by Twistedfate22 View Post
Thanks lady shadow. As I get more comfortable here maybe I will take you up on that.

It just stinks. It makes me feel like no one cares enough about me to just listen and offer emotional support for 30 min or whatever. That's really all I want and I feel like something is wrong with me that I don't have that from anyone other than my husband. I even started therapy and my therapist doesn't even seem to understand that I just need to be heard. She wants to focus on fixing things when they can't be fixed, I just need a human connection. She kept asking my "goals" and didn't seem satisfied when I said unjust wanted someone to talk honestly with. That's it. Meaningful human connection.

Anyway just wondering how common this is? Or do people not crave this like I do? Maybe it's my personality and most people don't care if their interactions with others are superficial.
Maybe she's not the right therapist for you if she doesn't understand that you already told her your goal - human connection.

I understand this very much, and I think it's not uncommon when you are a parent devoting huge chunks of yourself to raising kids, yourself and your own relationships can take a back burner.

I think suggestion above is wise, also try lots of different new activities/hobbies, eventually by law of averages you'll likely click with some people. At the very least you'll get fun and interaction along the way, which also will give you more new subjects to talk about with friends.
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Default Jun 11, 2016 at 07:31 AM
  #6
Real friends love and care for you and want to hear about you. Yu may need different friends; everyone has a story, and we are all more alike than different.
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Default Jun 15, 2016 at 04:00 PM
  #7
Thanks, everyone. I actually called a friend to vent and she listened and it was nice. Recently my health has taken a turn for the better and so I can hope to connect with people more than I have in the past.
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Default Jun 21, 2016 at 08:31 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Twistedfate22 View Post
I am confused about life and social internations. I don't know if something is wrong with me. I don't have friends I can talk to really openly about my life and thoughts and feelings. It's all very superficial. Even friends who know my health issues and understand and care I feel like it never gets really "deep". Is that normal? Is it just as you get older and have kids and spouses you don't have those deep meaningful conversations with friends anymore? Everyone is too busy with their own lives to get deep every once and a while?

I'm really confused about this. I'm not a complainer at all so I don't think I annoy people with my issues. I also don't want anything from anyone other than just to be heard every once and a while. I usually just listen and comment on other peoples stuff but I don't get that back much. Basically I say a few things about my life and they make a single comment and that's it. . .When I feel I'm obviously reaching out needing to speak for a bit. Is this common? Maybe there's something wrong with me that I don't have those friendships.

Hi Twistedfate22
Human connection is very important in our lives. having a friend that can listen and give feed back is key to social interaction especially for women. Reading a book is having a conversation with the author. When live human connections is not going "deed" with you, reading a book can fill the gap. Look for books along the field of Personal Development (Self Confidence and Self Esteem + leadership) and have a conversation with an author. play with your kids from time to time and read the Personal development books with your kids and discuss/ have a conversation about a chapter or 3... and keep connecting with friends
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