[Marylin]

I thought I'd start a thread where we address our inner child and how whether we pay the little mite attention or not affects our self esteem.

No matter what age you are your inner child age 5-12 is still inside you feeling what she/he felt back when,whether we as grown ups nurture our inner child or neglect her/him determines how we feel today.

My inner child's voice speaks to herself just as she did walking to school aged 5 crossing busy roads alone,witnessing a child get run over by a car alone without an adult to support her.This child repeats to herself.My mummy hates me, my mother wouldn't leave me alone if she loved me.I want my mum to love me.I want my dad to love me.I want my sister to love me.They don't love me.You aren't safe,I want safe.

Today I can be cruel and neglect my little inner child too,when I do that I suffer cos my self esteem plummets.Today I reassure my child that yes she is right my mother never loved me and still doesn't she neglected me and hurt me badly from age 5 but I don't need to hurt about that anymore ,I am an adult version of little me and I can look after myself just fine now and make up for the suffering I went through as a child.

To make up for that,I give my child nourishing hot food when she is tired and hungry,I make sure she gets rest when she needs it.I try to make sure she makes friends that treat her good.She gets special treatment like a massage every now and then and new haircuts or clothes or shoes.Things never provided above the basics when I was a child.I treat my child to trips to see kids films at the cinema, and she plays with the cats when she wants to come out and let the adult me retire for a while.

it is really important to bring your inner child to the light of day,give her/him attention and love and try to meet some of the unmet needs from long ago.Be careful if you were abused as a child either physically or sexually and try to only do this work if this is the case with a trained professional or someone experienced whom can be trusted.

If you want to start by telling us here on this thread what your inner child is saying to you right now.What does she or he want from you or the adult in her/his life?
How does the inner child feel about who she or he has become as an adult?Are there difficulties today that have their roots in the childhood?Healing the pains of the past can help you in the present.

If your little girl/boy could talk to their mum ,dad, family knowing what went on back then what would they say they need from them.
When you have the answers then as an adult try and provide for your inner child what he/she says they need.Note this isn't about blaming mum and dad or family,it is about righting wrongs and taking the responsibility for your inner child yourself today,you are the adult now and you can right the wrongs done and finally give your inner child what it needs and didn't get back then.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for posting this, Marylin. I actually have little or no memory of my life prior to around age 8 or so. And with regard to the few things I do recall, to a large extent, I'm not sure if I remember them because I actually remember them... or if I have a recollection of them because my parents told me about the incidents as I got older.

There are a couple of things I'm pretty sure I do actually recollect directly... because my parents would not have been likely to share them. All-in-all though, as I get older-&-older, more-&-more of my earlier years seem to fade. I only wish more of it would go...

[Marla500]

@Marylin-thank you-not only do you make a lot of sense, you explained it beautifully!

@Skeezyks-me too, just about everything you described