[vintagexsoul]

This is something I am working on. I'd like to be more confident, more secure and maybe even like myself. I feel like a good way to build self-esteem is to focus on your strengths.

It took most almost a year to open up and talk to people at work. But when I did, everyone seemed to love me. Management values and admires me. I'm one of their best associates. Two professionals told me I have an above average IQ and blow them out of the water. So I know I am highly intelligent and intellectual.

But I still feel so down about myself....particularly about being socially awkward. About being single at the age of 30 (though that is mostly by preference), about being unable to finish my masters, about not driving....I've lost almost 30 pounds but I'm still down about my weight even though I'm not overweight anymore and people compliment me on my figure. I have really bad acne, and for a time refused to leave the house because I was so ashamed of being seen. I've been seeing a dermatologist for several months about my acne and there hasn't been any improvement and for some reason she refuses to try a different medication with me. I feel like I'm stuck looking this way for the rest of my life. It's odd because people tell me I look so pretty and I think they must be being very nice and not mean it at all, because I can't possibly be pretty with acne like this. I'm so ashamed of my face, I don't even really flirt or anything, because I feel like no one would want anyone as repulsive as me. There are nights I cry myself to sleep over this.

I guess not everyone can have beauty, right? I guess all my other strengths make up for my appearance. Maybe some day, someone would find me attractive...but marriage is the farthest thing from my mind anyway. I'm not interested in having children either. I want to focus on my career, writing and art. On bettering myself, being a functioning, beneficial member of society or helping others. So I just remind myself of my strengths and how they will carry me much further than my appearance would.

But what girl doesn't want to feel pretty?

[Skeezyks]

[PumpkinPieHead]

You gonna move mountains, kid. Not everybody gets a master's degree and had kids. Heck, i dont even have a bachelor's. Carve your troubles in the sand and your blessings in stone, I promise you got this.