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Default Jan 07, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #121
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Originally Posted by Anonymous50909 View Post
I will try to post here daily. Feel free to join in.

Some things to ponder:

How were you compassionate with yourself today?
What can you be gentler on yourself with?
What are your strengths?
Why are you awesome?
How were you kind to yourself today?
How did you love yourself today?
How can you make things easier for yourself today?

Self-Compassion Exercises by Dr. Kristin Neff
Thank you for giving me something to think about that is new to try out.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 12:38 AM
  #122
It's okay to take care of my own needs. Unless it's truly an urgent matter, I don't need to "jump on it" as soon as someone demands my attention or help.
I don't need to reply immediately to non-urgent/ non-professional texts, voice mails, or emails; or even pick up the phone when I am exhausted and really, really need my rest. It's okay to respond later.
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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 02:53 PM
  #123
Hugs to everyone here today.

Today I officially joined the church I've been going to for 2 years. I'm the first new member of 2019!

Currently drinking hot chocolate and resting. I've been needing a lot of that lately. #SelfCare
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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 06:34 PM
  #124
I've just found this thread and I'm glad I that did I need to work on self-compassion and forgiving myself.
Today I was feeling very tired and I took care of myself by staying home and resting, and letting myself cry when I needed to (and not judging myself or getting upset).
I also had pizza for dinner and skipped the gym and I didn't beat myself up for it

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Default Jan 17, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #125
I just found this thread. Yay! I need to be kinder to myself. The goat track in my head very quickly goes to the negative and critical within point zero of a second. These thoughts seem so constant that the very idea of tackling them seems impossible. Why is it so much easier to be kinder to other people than myself? I would never dare to say to others what I say to myself. The task itself seems enormous.


Where do I start?
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Default Jan 18, 2019 at 12:08 PM
  #126
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I've just found this thread and I'm glad I that did I need to work on self-compassion and forgiving myself.
Today I was feeling very tired and I took care of myself by staying home and resting, and letting myself cry when I needed to (and not judging myself or getting upset).
I also had pizza for dinner and skipped the gym and I didn't beat myself up for it
I'm glad you're here May I started this thread way back in 2017, and I'm still working on self compassion in my own personal life. Self forgiveness sounds wonderful. There are whole books written on forgiveness. I think it goes very hand in hand with self compassion.

I love that you did not judge yourself. I find for myself that can be hard. However when I do do it, I'm like, Knitchick for the win! Pizza sounds great
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Default Jan 18, 2019 at 12:16 PM
  #127
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Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
I just found this thread. Yay! I need to be kinder to myself. The goat track in my head very quickly goes to the negative and critical within point zero of a second. These thoughts seem so constant that the very idea of tackling them seems impossible. Why is it so much easier to be kinder to other people than myself? I would never dare to say to others what I say to myself. The task itself seems enormous.


Where do I start?
Hi Possum! Welcome aboard When you asked "Where to start?" the first thing that popped into my head was the way we talk to ourselves. It was an idea that was introduced to me a few years ago. When I say that, I mean, tone of voice, and yes, what we say to ourselves as well. The way it was introduced to me was "imagine you are someone's loving mother, or that you have a loving mother or parental figure speaking to you." I also really have gotten a lot out of Kristen Neff's book Self Compassion as well as her website, Self-Compassion I think the website may be more helpful in some respects because it seems to break things down, make them simpler, and has exercises / practices anyone can try.

I hope I helped. Feel free to bring up questions and comments. Have a great day.
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Default Jan 18, 2019 at 07:24 PM
  #128
Thanks for the welcome and the link KnitChick. Did you get the work book? I signed up for the site.

I think it will take very deliberate actions or thoughts to change. Maybe even acceptance of myself and being curious why I think some things. I am very much beginning a work in progress as we all are.
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Default Jan 18, 2019 at 08:15 PM
  #129
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I'm glad you're here May I started this thread way back in 2017, and I'm still working on self compassion in my own personal life. Self forgiveness sounds wonderful. There are whole books written on forgiveness. I think it goes very hand in hand with self compassion.


I love that you did not judge yourself. I find for myself that can be hard. However when I do do it, I'm like, Knitchick for the win! Pizza sounds great
Thank you! You're so kind The Self-Compassion Thread. I think it's a good idea to keep track of the little things we do to each day to take care of ourselves. I've been doing positive affirmations lately and now I'm trying to keep a journal where I write the things I'm grateful for.
That sounds interesting. Do you have any book recommendations?
I've struggled with feelings of guilt and shame my whole life... and unfortunately I went through a few bad experiences recently that triggered some stuff from the past. I want to be able to let go and stop blaming myself for things I can not control.
Thanks for your support I hope you're doing well

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Default Jan 19, 2019 at 05:34 PM
  #130
Need to take some time for myself today but I will try to respond tomorrow or Monday. Have a good weekend.
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 04:48 PM
  #131
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Thanks for the welcome and the link KnitChick. Did you get the work book? I signed up for the site.

I think it will take very deliberate actions or thoughts to change. Maybe even acceptance of myself and being curious why I think some things. I am very much beginning a work in progress as we all are.

Hi Possum, yes, I have her book Self Compassion. I'm glad I have it as a resource. I like her website too though. And I must admit, I have not read or looked at the book or website in a while. I have been doing a lovingkindness meditation in the mornings, and thats sort of dwindled too. I think writing this is a good reminder to get back at it.


Yes, I agree with you about deliberate actions. YES, acceptance of yourself and curiosity about your thoughts is great! I have learned that while accepting something does not always mean you approve, it does bring me closer to peace.


Yes. We are all a work in progress. Proud to be a work in progress over here!
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 05:02 PM
  #132
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Thank you! You're so kind The Self-Compassion Thread. I think it's a good idea to keep track of the little things we do to each day to take care of ourselves. I've been doing positive affirmations lately and now I'm trying to keep a journal where I write the things I'm grateful for.
That sounds interesting. Do you have any book recommendations?
I've struggled with feelings of guilt and shame my whole life... and unfortunately I went through a few bad experiences recently that triggered some stuff from the past. I want to be able to let go and stop blaming myself for things I can not control.
Thanks for your support I hope you're doing well
I like that you said this (what I bolded above), because the other day I was remembering something my therapist said to me. I was really upset and talking to her on the phone (I think it was in the spring or summer of last year), and I said "I don't feel empowered at all." It was very important for me to feel empowered. And she said "You may not feel empowered, but you are doing empowering things." And it's true, I was. Something had upset me, and while I was doing self care, I just couldn't feel happy. But the fact that she said that...helped. We don't always have to feel it, to know that we are doing something that helps. Or it can even just be something subtle. Sometimes we want instant results that feel good. I do. It's just not always how it is and I need to remember this! Gratitude is a wonderful tool, btw.

May, I have heard that Brene Brown is a good author for the topic of shame. I have read some of her things a while ago and have enjoyed them. There's a book called Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch. It talks about guilt in one of the chapters. It's a good book.

I'm sorry that you have been triggered lately. I think it would be wonderful for you to find a way to stop feeling so responsible and to let go and stop blaming yourself. Perhaps it will take some time, patience, and persistence on your part. Or maybe it will come like waves. Sometimes you'll be okay, other times not. That's how it is for me with my own issues. Sometimes i think it helps to just realize the distortion in thought. In DBT, we are taught to observe our thoughts, and not judge them. But just notice and label them, and then let them go. It's like mindfulness and meditation. It's a practice that you can cultivate as well.

One more book, if not to overwhelm you, is Loving-Kindness by Sharon Salzberg.
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Default Jan 20, 2019 at 06:09 PM
  #133
One more book rec: The Self Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi PhD. It helped me when I was beginning to explore self esteem.
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Default Jan 22, 2019 at 05:27 PM
  #134
@KnitChick Thank you for the book recommendations, I'll check them out!
It's funny that you mentioned Brene Brown. I haven't read anything by her yet, but I've seen her name a lot recently in psychology articles. Last week I saw one of her TED talks for the first time and I really enjoyed it.

I can definitely relate to what you said of "wanting instant results"... also, I feel like even when I accomplish something that I worked hard for, I often don't even enjoy it; because I immediately start thinking about what's the next thing I need to achieve.
I like what your therapist told you, it's so powerful. I think I'll keep that in mind next time I'm too busy thinking about the thingsI have left to do and not seeing how far I've come.

I had an appointment with my Pdoc yesterday and we talked about some of the things that were making me feel ashamed. It was hard to talk about but I'm feeling better now I'm also going to meditation classes every week (I went today) and it helps me feel more compassion towards myself and understand better the things that are bothering me. Today's class brought me a lot of clarity.
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Default Jan 24, 2019 at 09:17 PM
  #135
There is a video on self compassion that is interesting 2-Minute Tips: How to Practice Self-Compassion https://youtu.be/Qes9HoxfkE0
or this may work better YouTube

and a guided meditation, Self Acceptance--A Meditation for Confidence: YouTube

and self acceptance: Acceptance--A Mindfulness Attribute: YouTube

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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 11:35 AM
  #136
I didn't get more than 4h of sleep last night and I'm struggling to concentrate. I had to change some of the plans I had for today because I couldn't bring myself to do much of it...
I'm feeling a little stressed and frustrated, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay and that I'll do better tomorrow.

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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 12:33 PM
  #137
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I didn't get more than 4h of sleep last night and I'm struggling to concentrate. I had to change some of the plans I had for today because I couldn't bring myself to do much of it...
I'm feeling a little stressed and frustrated, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay and that I'll do better tomorrow.
(((((May))))) Hugs to you, May. Maybe you need to rest today. It sounds like that's what you need. Please don't be hard on yourself. It will get better and you'll be ok.
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Default Jan 28, 2019 at 12:34 PM
  #138
Good afternoon. I am resting. It's been such a struggle and I didn't go to my language class today. I'm all out of whack. But I'm listening to music and it feels good. It's sunny here. I'm glad for that.
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Default Feb 12, 2019 at 05:10 PM
  #139
While listening to the audiobook, Presence by Amy Cuddy, I heard this: Confidence is not about one-upping someone. It's about using your tools, not weapons.

Have a good day everyone. It's super cold and snowy here. It's icing out. Lol. Good day to stay in if you don't have to go out.
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Default Mar 07, 2019 at 10:16 PM
  #140
I’m at the pivotal point now where I get hoovered back in.

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