I've been wondering why I'm too scared to try anything in life, and realized it's because my mom favored my brother, and I never understood what I was doing wrong. I felt there had to be something inherently bad about me that I was never good enough.

I think she prefers him because he's a man.. She's got this weird fascination with male strength although she grew up with a physically violent father. Intellectually, she realizes what her dad did was wrong, but on an emotional level, I can see she admires him too. It's like admiration mixed with fear..

This is just my theory, but I also think she probably views women as weak and has a lot of anger towards herself for not having been able to protect herself and her siblings from their dad, and towards her mother for not taking them away from that man.

Whatever her reasons, becoming aware of this has made me realize I have a lot of good qualities of my own! I'm sensitive, have a lot more patience than my brother, and softer values - I'm sure many people think I'm too soft, but suddenly, I don't care! I like myself as I am and am going to find people to be with who appreciate me and share my values

Of course, I have a lot to learn too, but I can't and won't try to change my core personality anymore to fit someone else's mold. People who don't like me can move on

[Yzen]

I know what it is like to have a brother that is favored. Your theory makes sense to me even though I am a younger brother (instead of sister). I could imagine that a mother that grew up in that environment would be more drawn to an older son that represents 'strength' to her. My older brother comes across with more strength in his personality. I have a softer approach.

[mountainstream]

[Fuzzybear]