Gaining self esteem

How does a person gain self esteem? I had read lot of books and YouTube video. What step would I need to take to have self esteem!

Tips for Building Self-Esteem

That's an article with strategies.

Here's my own personal method of building or maintaining my self-esteem:

*tell myself every day that my worth is intrinsic no matter what happens
*write down 3 things I like about myself every night and read them first thing in the morning before I get out of bed
*write down 5 things I'm grateful for every day
*daily guided meditation on good thoughts and good energy
*go on adventures (big or small)...push beyond my comfort zone
*when I think terrible things about myself, I remind myself that these are only thoughts, I do not have to believe them. Remember that I remain a valuable and powerful being in the Universe.
*do kind things for others just because
*spend time with positive people who value themselves
*limit or avoid time with negative, hateful people
*take time to remember any nice thing anyone ever said or did for me
*indulge my inner child (safely) just because, e.g splash in a puddle, do a silly dance, sing out loud, buy a goofy item just because it makes me smile etc

Great goal! I believe that a positive relationship with the self is the foundation for peace and happiness. Good luck Buffy

It seems to me self-esteem is more of a perception of self more than anything else. You could be good at many things but not be confident. Now the question is how to change that perception? I don't know.

I find that for me, self esteem is an ongoing process. Things I have done / things I do: face something I'm nervous about but that I want to do (this can also have the opposite effect. it's best to be careful with this imo), read about self esteem, exercise, be around people who I like and who like me and are nice (people who build you up). Also coming to terms that its not all my fault that I struggle. When I learned about ableism (and how society is not set up for those with any kind of disability), sexism (patriarchal society), my upbringing (not to blame my parents now, but they were not a good fit for me growing up)...it was a really empowering feeling.

I will try to use those.

Thank you! I am starting on my new year reap early!

I will keep that in mind!

Thank you! I will keep that in mind.

Try not to judge yourself by your mistakes.

That going to be hard!

I looked myself in the eye, using a mirror usually in the bathroom, and say affirmations. I'm beautiful, I have an excellant memory, and I repeat them over and over until I feel them. Usually a few minutes each day.

I am already doing that! I have positive quotes that I say to myself.

I don't know how could someone build a self-esteem all on her own. I feel she would need a therapist and a good support system. She needs to hear words and affirmation from the external world until she can internalize them and make them her own.

From my own experience in therapy and reading of the research, I actually believe it's the other way around. Someone with no or very low self-esteem can be told wonderful things by others every single day and still feel awful because they have not developed a positive relationship with the Self.

Happiness and peace begin with the Self. We can share our joy with others but if someone looks to others for all of their joy or affirmation that can be a very unhappy path. There is some really interesting research coming from marriage therapists who noted a trend among young women entering marriage with the belief that their husband will be the source of all their happiness and affirmation. This in many cases is a strong predictor of marriage problems or even divorce. Though that's just one example, I'm not suggesting all young women do that or that men never do.

We all benefit from support and it is great to have but what about people who are isolated and have no access or desire to be around others? They can still be kind and loving to themselves. There is hope for all.

That said, I respect your thoughts and sharing on the thread Ennie. I am just sharing my perspective. Peace and positive energy to you

A therapist is a good idea yes. I'm just conscious that not everyone has access and some are not willing to do therapy d/t societal stigma. I have family members who feel like that and also say they want to feel better about themselves...so I send them strategies and research articles on building or improving self-esteem.

Great insights.

I can't find a therapist right now. I don't have a good support system especially at home. I have some positive quotes I try to say everyday.

I agree with what you said about people getting married to feel good. I am isolated from everyone.

I have trouble getting around and find a therapist who specializes in self esteem