[RoseFireLite]

All of my life I have been told that Guys don't make passes at girls who are fat and wear glasses. Since I was a baby my mother has been my eminey and we have zero like or love for each other. I'm in a new relationship with someone who is 20 years younger than me and I love him but I don't think that he wants me as much as I want him. I feel like an elephant and just know that I'm not beautiful but he said that he thinks I am beautiful. He also seems to be loved by everyone of the female peseruasiom. We can be great together and when we are not well it's all bad! Our fights are never loud and violent that is a first for me. I want so much more what it would be I don't know. I don't know if I'm looking for someone to help me with this but I would like to see myself in a different light than I do now. How do I explain to him that he can be a great help with this whole thing and that I'm not able or being stuck past issues. He has said that he has never said that I am ugly or fat but he doesn't say anything different either.

[MsSunflower]

I'm sure if he's with you that it's because he wants to be. When he says he thinks you're beautiful, believe him. Sometimes we're can't see the good in ourselves because of years of listening to those voices (maybe your mother's voice too) that tell us that we aren't good enough. I've know so many other women who couldn't see how beautiful they were. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective. Don't know if that helps at all but there's my 2 cents.

[Travelinglady]

Dear one, some men like "fluffy" women, so please don't second guess him--and accept his attraction to you--and enjoy it! Okay?

P.S. I can attest from experience that men DO make passes at girls who wear glasses!

[sarahsweets]

My husband fell in love with my when I was overweight.

[TunedOut]

Some guys prefer women who carry some weight rather than thin women. I really do think this is true. I am sure my husband has this preference. I enjoy his complements and time with him even undressed.

I prefer the way I look when I lose some weight. My weight has gone up and down at times in my life because of this. My current belief is that we do look and feel better, regardless of our weight, when we are eating nutritionally and exercising. Studies show that even if you are overweight (which increases your odds of getting type 2 diabetes) you can cut your risk of type 2 diabetes if you exercise regularly. Plus exercise puts those curves in more attractive places. My current thinking is that it is better to eat nutritiously and eat enough to satisfy our hunger and have energy. Most diets where you lose weight by going hungry are counterproductive. The gains (more attractive appearance?) are short term and unhealthy. I have found that having a well rounded exercise routine does stabilize my weight because by retaining my muscle mass, I keep my metabolism healthy allowing me to eat until I my hunger is satisfied without ballooning. (Also, I have to be mindful about whether of not I am eating to satisfy real hunger or to soothe my emotions.)

With age, I have learned to accept myself better. Hopefully, you will too!