Compliments

I find that when people compliment me, it offends me, or makes me anxious (because I can't see it or I take it the wrong way or analyse it so that it comes negative).
Also, when I tell people not to compliment me because of these reasons, I get offended or anxious (because I start wondering if there is anything good about me after all).

Haha.

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

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Yeah me too,....I think it is for me because for whatever reason I dont feel that it is deserved...

TJ

(((Sky)))

(((Skeeweeaka))) - good point! I think I'm the same, but I never thought of it that way before. Sometimes I'm proud like a god, but it's just a disguise.

Weird things... the work continues..

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

i think that compliments are very tricky things.. ideally they are meant to encourage and support correct behavior, but often they are used as manipulative tools by unhealthy individuals.. and then there is the fear (as you said) of 'feeling like a god' .. we are all worthy of encouragement and kind thoughts.. if one is given you, it is extended in the hope of encouraging a certain behavior.. dont let yourself be manipulated, but if the compliment feels sincere and true, wear it for all its worth.. you deserve to feel good...

it is extended in the hope of encouraging a certain behavior -- another good point I have not thought of before.

over a month ago i was in sweden at a rave where my partner played, and i suddenly got very depressed because i realised i will never be liked. i wanted to end it all and for the rest of the night i looked like i had swallowed five sour lemons, anxiously waiting to get home to OD. later in the morning i saw a dog looking funny and i laughed for a good five minutes. and then some guy who had been worshipping my partner's music, told me, "what, this is odd! you're laughing! continue doing that!"

and i'm not quite sure how i should've taken that. i wanted to please people so i would be liked so i laughed. if i had kept on frowning, nobody would have paid any attention to me.

it was and still is very hard for me to say whether that was completely sincere. was it meant that if i was more positive, i would get more attention? as in, it woul be beneficial for me. or was it meant that they were sick of seeing me depressed and it was making them uncomfortable?

well, nobody can tell, but i just thought i would bring it up. i do have difficulties with being manipulated. ;D my partner recently told me his honest opinion of my appearance and i told him not to compliment me. he said he wasn't, it was just his opinioon and whther i thought that was sincere was my own business.

which was the very right thing to say. nobody can force anyone to believe what they say. it is their business to sort that out, we can't convince with any other way than by saying and doing things.

long ramble, not making any sense, but i felt it was appropriate for this topic. may the opinions on compliments flood. (hahah)

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

I find it hard to accept compliments because i have never felt worthy of them ... it is a self esteem and low confidence thing ... they make me uncomfortable, like not knowing what to do with myself .... then if one doesn't graciously accept a compliment it may offend .... i'm just not good with them ... especially face to face lol .... it's different on line cos you have time to think about it .....

Jin

I hate being called "nice"

There is just this hidden implication that there is nothing noteworthy or of value and interest about me, but that the other person is trying not to hurt my feelings..

Its just me though, just ignore and send me back to my dark corner alone where I actually belong

TJ

((((((((((( Tim )))))))))))))

Tim, humbly accepting faults we may imagine ourselves to have and putting ourselves before those demons gives us an advantage in dealing with what might after all be a delusionary experience... say to yourself in your heart each day as sincerely as you are able that you are worthy and valuable as a person because you come bringing gifts to this world which no other can ever be capable of exactly duplicating...

Thank you, just in a down mood lately

appreciate the kind advice -TJ

((((((((((((((((tim)))))))))))))))))))))))))

sorry you are feeling so down ..... sending huggies ..... Kx

(((Tim)))

I hate being called nice too... for the exact same reason.

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

yep, i feel like that too. i think people just say that shet to make me feel better, they never really mean it. i guess that's what happens when you're trust is destroyed, like mine has obviously been.