Low self esteem or a justified response?

I am teacher studying for my MSE and credential. This past summer, I worked as a teacher for a very small privately owned company that specialized in early intervention education. There were only three of us counting myself and the boss. The pay was low but I did it for the teaching experience.

Computers are my hobby and because business was slow I volunteered to set up the network at work, set up the company website and configure software, etc. My co-worker started to feel threatened and a lot of times would take credit for my work or ask me how to do things and tell the boss she did it on her own.

Despite my best efforts to ignore her behavior and be friendly, it got to the point where my co-worker refused to speak to me. She would leave the front office to go home and turn off the lights while I was still inside. She refused to take items from my hand or hand anything to me. If I reached out to take documents from her, she would drop them on the desk instead.

I eventually quit. My main reason for quitting was to return to school full-time to finish my teaching credential but also partially because my co-worker and I worked very close together in the same room and I could no longer deal with her attitude. I had a decent relationship with my boss so I figured I'd let things go so I could use the job as a reference.

I trained my replacement and set up the computer access for her. After I quit, my boss emailed me about a computer problem and I solved the problem for free. I never received a thank you. Now I wonder if that was just my co-worker using my boss's email address which was common for her to do when I was working there.

Recently the office computers had a virus and the same co-worker emailed me for help which I ignored. Today she called my house but I did not answer.

I was very upset with the way I was treated but at the same time I might need to use my boss as a reference when I start looking for jobs this year. Will dissing my ex-coworker burn bridges needed for a good reference? Do you think I should consider helping even though I hate this person's guts?

Is there a reason you never discussed this with your boss? If she is using the bosses email address, that's huge. First off, it sounds like you do know and believe that the problem was with her, if you reached out and were civil to her, showed her how to do things, etc. I have a problem of someone taking credit for my work, too--and it's my boss. It's frustrating, but... My opinion is to stand up for yourself. If she calls your house again, you are under no obligation to help her. Answer the phone and discuss all these issues with her, you can blatantly tell her you were very offended by her treatment of you and you don't feel any obligation to help any more. Unless you have other references, you may need to stay on the good side of the company. However, with that being said I will say that, at least where I am, when companies are called for references the most they can say is yes you worked there. Anything else opens them up for lawsuits, as silly as it seems. (If you say they are good and they turn out to be horrible, the new company can sue you. If you say they are bad and they don't get the job, they can sue you.) A safe thing to do would be to call your old boss and ask for a typed reference letter right now, before you need it. Sorry I rambled!! Best of luck to you.

Why would you be obligated to continue working for this company after you no longer work for them? You have done enough already. Time to talk to the boss, tell her all that has happened, and that you have moved on and you are now busy with school or anything else that you are doing now. If they want to contract with you for services, they can come up with terms that are acceptable to you.

I'm sorry you were treated like that. You could ask a lawyer if you have a case for "hostile work environment," but if they are such a small company, it might not even be worth your time. There is no excuse for how your co-worker treated you, though.

First, that persons behavior was petty and reprehensible. I personally would have complained about her, or at the very least confronted her. In my opinion no job reference is worth that, and besides she was not the one giving you the reference. I would have flatly told the boss that I found another job and here's why.

No, I don't think that you should consider helping. I would not.

Ignoring this rude ex-coworker will in no way affect future job references. This person does not deserve your help. I wouldn't help her at all. There's an old saying called "you reap what you sow."