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Founder & Your Host
Community Support Team Chat Leader
Member Since May 2001
Location: Greater Boston, MA
Posts: 13,622
23 180 hugs
given ![]() |
#1
Before you can begin to improve your self-esteem you must first believe that you can change it. Change doesn't necessarily happen quickly or easily, but it can happen. You are not powerless! Once you have accepted, or are at least willing to entertain the possibility that you are not powerless, there are three steps you can take to begin to change your self-esteem:
* Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic * Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing * Step 3: Get Help from Others Learn more here: https://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html Enjoy the forum and remember, be good and support each other! DocJohn __________________ Don't throw away your shot. Last edited by DocJohn; May 07, 2016 at 06:45 AM.. |
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2005
Posts: 2,005
19 |
#2
I for one, am glad to see this new forum. Thanks Doc John for providing this new forum for us.
I basically have NO self-esteem. It has been squashed and trampled on since early childhood, creating in me extremely negative thinking. In fact, I have so much self-hatred that I fail to see why others could possibly like me. I need constant reassurance, very tiring on those in my life. Is there hope for someone who is in my position? I think if I could improve my self-esteem, maybe some of my other issues in life might just fall into place and not become real issues to begin with. Opinions? ![]() |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2004
Posts: 138
20 |
#3
Yes, yes and yes. I am living proof of it.
Good move :-) |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2004
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,526
19 ![]() |
#4
Thanks for "hearing" our voices Doc. We can always count on you to take care of us.
Thanks again! __________________ “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou Karma is a boomerang. Trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks. See how I'm doing |
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Grand Magnate
Managing Editor, PC Member Since Apr 2004
Location: Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 4,572
20 ![]() |
#5
Don't the self-esteem forum and the "kudos and affirmations" forum kind of duplicate each other?
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![]() avlady, happysobercrafter
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![]() Corine, happysobercrafter
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Member
Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Northeast
Posts: 41
19 |
#6
I don't think the self-esteem forum and "kudos & affirmations" forum really duplicate each other. The kudos and affirmations tend to come from others. Self-esteem is coming from, well, yourself. I think we all need not only to hug ourselves a little bit more, but learn and remember that we are huggable. We're darn huggable!
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Member
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: gone
Posts: 247
19 |
#7
Angel Girl is back! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() She has been one who has given me valuable advice on how to find my own self esteem. If only she would practice the same for herself. ![]() __________________ Roadkill on the highway of life |
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![]() avlady, happysobercrafter
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
19 23 hugs
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#8
thanks, docjohn! this is going to be a great place for support i think.
candy, no i don't think it's even close to a duplication. i think kudo's is more for others recognizing a person publicly. i think this forum is for those of us who struggle with inner/outer bad feedback, and can come and get support and "healthy" feedback on the truth of what we're hearing. i, for one, second guess myself way too much due to all of the negative internal and external feedback in my life. this is going to be a great thing for me...any many i hope. welcome everyone! i'm so excited ![]() __________________ ![]() |
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![]() avlady, happysobercrafter
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2005
Posts: 2,005
19 |
#9
I think I forgot everything I said to you. btw, not so sure I'm really back yet.
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![]() avlady, happysobercrafter
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Member
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: gone
Posts: 247
19 |
#10
You ARE back.
![]() QUOTE from your signature: I'm pulled down by the undertow. ... You are your own undertow. ![]() __________________ Roadkill on the highway of life |
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![]() avlady, happysobercrafter
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2005
Posts: 2,005
19 |
#11
Yea, to some degree I am but I had a lot of help in getting to the depths of depression that I'm in now.
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![]() happysobercrafter
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
20 49 hugs
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#12
Thanks, Dr. John, for a great place to discuss issues associated with developing self-esteem. I think this serves a really positive purpose.
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![]() happysobercrafter
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Elder
Member Since Apr 2003
Posts: 5,584
21 197 hugs
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#13
Wow, a self-esteem forum. Sounds like a good idea to me.They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but I am up for the challenge.
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![]() happysobercrafter
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Member
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 124
19 |
#14
Brilliant idea - think I may be here a lot
![]() Good self esteem is the most important thing to try and acheive. And I would imagine that most of us on here are lacking in it, at least in some areas. I have struggled with it all my life........Poppet |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
(SuperPoster!)
21 397 hugs
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#15
Wooooooooohooooooooooooooo!! Thanks, Doc John! What a pleasant surprise!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou! ![]() __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,134
20 |
#16
He aims to please!
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![]() happysobercrafter
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
(SuperPoster!)
21 397 hugs
given |
#17
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
THREE Faces of Low Self-Esteem Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear: The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition, and burn-out. The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority. The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> This is from the link Doc John posted to us to get us going. Does anyone recognize themselves even just a little bit? Don't feel bad. I do! ![]() Right here: Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws, or fighting authority. And then this: problems with perfectionism, procrastination,... and burn-out. Speaking for myself, I already know what caused my lack of self-esteem, but sometimes I wonder if we really need to know the "why." The fact is, I need to work on it some more. What do ya'll think? Do you feel you need to know who, why or what? It's your choice. Like I've said, I've always been a rebel in one way or the other. That's not to say that I didn't believe the critisisms; I did. Old tapes. When I hear them, I tell myself exactly the opposite. "You're so dumb!" - "No, I'm not! I've always passed my English classes with an 'A'!" My therapist told me that if one has the mastery of the English language, like being able to read and right well, then the doors of the world are open to you. "Why can't you be more like your cousins?!" - Because I'm not them. I AM me; my own unique self with my own likes and dislikes and my own goals in life. "I want you to have an important career like your cousins." - I want my "career" to be a good wife and mother. (BTW... I made it! ![]() ![]() Good luck, guys! I'm really looking forward to what this forum is going to accomplish. ![]() An important PS: You guys that feel you have a better handle on self-esteem, please, please contribute your experiences. We all need all the help we can get. __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,134
20 |
#18
I'm the same as you, especially with PTSD as the focus of it. My ex is the faker--excuse me, the imposter. Had to scroll down. Same difference, I suppose.
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Member
Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Northeast
Posts: 41
19 |
#19
Me, I am the Loser. I definitely wait for someone to come to the rescue. Only, I don't think I act helpless, I am helpless. Sometimes I feel like this is the real me. That when I was holding down a job, and doing a great job at work, that was fake. Make sense?
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2003
Posts: 1,167
21 |
#20
Thanks Doc.
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Thread | Forum | |||
Reminder: This is a Support Forum, not a Debate Forum | Sanctuary for Spiritual Support | |||
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New Forum: Steps to Better Self-Esteem | Other Mental Health Discussion |