unhealthy self criticism vs healthy self criticism?

Hi everyone. I've been faced with this dilemma for quite a while now. I've never had an issue with this and always felt my self criticalness to be a strong aid to my personal growth until about two years ago, in which my self criticalness has left me empty and lost.
Like all other self critical thoughts, I saw this one as being equally insightful to my personal growth as the rest, but this one didn't bring me the results I expected, but only left me completely lost.
More specifically, I felt like I was being self centered and I should show more interest in people, and make that more of a priority in my socialization.

But I have found the thoughts to be little more than what I see psychologists call neurotic thinking.
I couldn't connect with anyone anymore, and everyone I met, it just ended in awkwardness. I lost many of my friends too. I went through quite a drastic change, in which before I was very very confident and almost spoke my mind. Now I could hardly do more than ask questions(*cough*interrogator*cough*), and the conversation never flows. I can feel a lot of my inside thoughts wanting to come out, but it gets supressed so easily. And often when I feel totally conscious of the thought, it feels too late to bring it up.

Any ideas? Thanks!

yes bring it up. I use to motivate myself before a sporting event by trashing my self. I would do it with test to. For along time it motivated me. Now that just crushes me when i do it...so I'm sticky with self praise right now

affirmations rock!

they heal the mind, where it's central to our emotions and physical healings too...

if you need a good dose of healthy affirmations, buy a tape filled with them and play it at night before you go to bed, and in the morning when you wake up... they can get addicting in a good way.

there are self-esteem affirmations, confidence building affirmations, self-loving affirmations, overcoming certain issues affirmations... heck, there are wonderful tapes for whatever you need to hear... that bring it into our psyches in wonderfully gentle ways.

You can even get a subliminal tape also, part talked, the rest musical.

Anyway, that worked for me when I was listening to the recently ousted head-honcho-grand-critic-on-location at large.. all the time. lol

Gone now. At least to the degree that I can hear it a mile away and make preparations for an all out kick-out!

Best to you both.

Always look for the better instructors on these tapes, so ck out the web and see the samples too.

xoxo

I'm not particularly happy with using the term "self criticism" in a positive way. I guess you might think of it as "constructive criticism?" hmmm Still not sure that using "criticism" there is a positive.

Positive self-regard? Affirmations for sure! Self-evaluation? Centering?

Reevaluation of a situation, actions and comments, can be a good thing, but not to ruminate what went wrong or how bad another makes you feel.

Make sure when you evaluate yourself to ask good question. Did you do your best? How might you have done better? How can you remind yourself for future situations? Are there long-term negative consequences from that particular situation? Would most people move right along and you're hung up on it?

As for conversations... that's not as easy as it used to be, imo. People seem to be used to very short replies (due to texting I wonder?) When asking questions to elicit or begin a conversation, try to make them questions that require more than a yes or no answer.

"Did you say you are in hospitality now, but went to college for medical aid, how did you make that transition?" Something like that shows you listened to what they said, and are interested in a deeper exchange.

Communication involves a sent message, received and understood.
Maybe evaluate what it is you are looking for (a romantic relationship vs a casual exchange) and see what message you're sending.

Best wishes!

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Sounds good, I wouldn't mind giving it a shot.
care to share some links? i found a few, but they all want moolah.