[Fuzzybear]

What do you do with the bad memories?

[Sannah]

Work through the emotions from them?????????

[Rachie]

Try to put them behind you and focus on the good memories. I know its easier said than done but its worth a try isnt it? ((((((((((fuzzybear))))))))))

i honor them. that i have them means that i am now strong enough to have them...for a long time i couldn't...now i can...for a long time they were just vague flashes of things...now when i get them they are awful & horrific and they suck...but it means i am getting stronger, and stronger means better.sometimes our pasts suck. what happened to us wasn't right, and there are no words or actions that can make it so. for what seems like forever my mind buried the memories deep inside in crevasses and in peeps that exist to help me deal. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.when a memory surfaces now...i sit with it. try and let it out..and and see where it takes me, and realize that i did nothing wrong..that my parents (or who ever) were evil, crazy, sadistic people. if it happens in therapy then my t gets me thru it and for that i am grateful.my abuse doesn't define who i am, but it did play a role in shaping me. so yeah, i do honor a memory when it pops up...i make some time for it and make it safe...for yeah..it means i'm getting stronger..i couldn't handle what happened when i was a kid...but now as an adult...i can manage a little better. still sucks, ain't fun...but hopefully i don't have to let it destroy me like it did in the past....now i have support.

[JayS]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

What do you do with the bad memories?

I try to push them down as far as I can and not think about it. It's not really working that great though.

[Pomegranate]

(((Fuzzy)))) Everyone. I use therapy to talk about them and work through the emotions and actions connected to them.

My memories of childhood sexual abuse I try to just block out, while at the same time reminding myself it was not my fault, I am not dirty. My uncle and brother were the sick ones, they were the predators, they caused the ugly pictures in my mind and I can choose not to think of them. It works pretty good, unless something unexpectedly triggers me.

The emotional & physical abuse and neglect from my childhood I do the same. Remind myself it wasn't my fault. Remind myself my parents and brother were all very sick people, but that does not escuse their actions. Talk through it in therapy. Then choose to not think about it, or pay attention to the memories when they pop up.

But I also think once you've been abused, it's always there somewhere. We just have to learn to take care of ourselves.

Hi Fuzzy,

One thing you can do is use visualization to help you cope through the bad memories until you can see your therapist if you have one or until you feel stronger and have grounding techniques gathered. If you're not in a space where you can handle the memory or a nightmare, you can write it down (or a date and reminder--whatever works to help you remember later) on an index card or piece of folded paper and put it in your own personal box.

One time when i went to the hospital we each took a plain white cigar-style/school desk box and decorated it however we wanted. Then we labeled it bad dreams. You could make one and label it bad dreams, bad memories, bad stuff...whatever you like. You could color it with crayons or markers, paint it, or make a collage on it. You could even leave it plain. Later you can take the box to therapy.

For me it's better to work through things as they come up as much as possible and not try to push them away too far or too long cuz they just keep coming back again and again. Working through them can help diffuse them little by little. At the same time, sometimes instinct kicks in and we just can't do it right that moment. Maybe the box could help contain things short term. Just one option.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

What do you do with the bad memories?

According to my t, we talk them out until we're done with them and they becom part of a natural narritave that no longer has power over us.

[Fuzzybear]