Links to Online Articles

Tips for Secondary Survivors aka Supporters

This article is very good to share with friends and family who know what you are going through. It's kind of manual.

Well, the slide show just reinstilled what I knew. It is always good to check and recheck, just to make sure. My problem is how to get it to stop.

Excellent article on emotional abuse in childhood, its effects, and recovering from it. By a lawyer with a specialty in children who were sexually assaulted, emotionally and/or physically abused, starved, ignored, abandoned, neglected, and more.

You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss (Parade Magazine): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss

Just read through the links on this thread and found some really helpful information - thanks to those who shared the information.

This post gutted me. I saw the trigger warning, decided to read it anyway. But I thank you for posting it, it validates my experiences.

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I absolutely have to agree with this statement so much since my ex Did Do that to me and won custody of my daughter only for 9yrs later school social worker calls me and tells me my daughter is now the one being abused. Such a wonderful legal system we have!!

Hi All,

Just wanted to recommend the documentary "Private Violence", which just premiered a couple of days ago on HBO. I included a detailed description below, but it's about advocacy for battered women, and is really excellent, very moving (and also very honest, so certainly consider whether it may be triggering for you). One of the questions that the film provides solid answers to is that question of "why don't they just leave?", so I think there is both education and understanding to be had here, for many.

They have a website, here Private Violence | Home and some resources, including a link to meetups for related advocacy groups where you can also catch showings of the film... or, request to host your own screening here.

Best,
vonmoxie

Private Violence is a feature-length documentary film and audience engagement campaign that explores a simple, but deeply disturbing fact of American life: the most dangerous place for a woman in America is her own home. Every day in the US, at least four women are murdered by abusive (and often, ex) partners. The knee-jerk response is to ask: “why doesn’t she just leave?” Private Violence shatters the brutality of this logic. Through the eyes of two survivors – Deanna Walters, a mother who seeks justice for the crimes committed against her at the hands of her estranged husband, and Kit Gruelle, an advocate who seeks justice for all women – we bear witness to the complicated and complex realities of intimate partner violence. Their experiences challenge entrenched and misleading assumptions, providing a lens into a world that is largely invisible; a world we have locked behind closed doors with our silence, our laws, and our lack of understanding. Kit’s work immerses us in the lives of several other women as they attempt to leave their abusers, setting them on a collision course with institutions that continuously and systematically fail them, often blaming victims for the violence they hope to flee. The same society that encourages women to seek true love shows them no mercy when that love turns dangerous. As Deanna transforms from victim to survivor, Private Violence begins to shape powerful, new questions that hold the potential to change our society: “Why does he abuse?” “Why do we turn away?” “How do we begin to build a future without domestic violence?”

KIT GRUELLE - SPECIAL ADVISOR & FILM SUBJECT
Kit Gruelle is a survivor of domestic violence and has worked as a battered women’s advocate and community educator for over 25 years. She educates advocates, criminal justice professionals, healthcare providers, faith leaders, educators and other allied professionals about domestic violence. She is dedicated to challenging the stereotypes and prevailing belief systems about violence against women and children and highlights the prevalence of out-of-date responses that do little to change the fundamental dynamics of domestic violence.

Thanks for this post. I had described it as 'not feeling right'. I know what you mean about sensing that something is 'off'.

xx

I know it comes from PC, yet has it's place, right here.
http://psychcentral.com/lib/recoveri...eglect/0001384

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Well, according to that list, which is not exhaustive, that cousin of mine was an abusive bastard. Well I always knew that, talked to my sisters about it, who agreed with me that he was weird in general and they didnt like him either, and I refused to go back to see that part of my family at some point. That was some good sense, I'm proud of myself. I played it all down though, because it was way too embarrassing to talk about. I had such a disgust for him that I didnt want to think about it all afterwards, and I'm having a hard time remembering what exactly happened in the worst moment. There was no penetration though, "just" an attempt to violently take my clothes off, and pressing really hard with his knee against my genitals. It was painful. I hated him before, because he had been weird (must have been a sick asshole, when I think about it now), and I hated him afterwards. I'm not even sure how old I was, but it was before puberty, something between 10-12. He was older, 17 or 18. Well, it was sh**t, but I never thought I was sexually abused. I need to talk to my sisters about it, they will remember that story.

Adult ADHD Often Associated with Childhood Abuse | Psych Central News

This article helped me understand the relationship between my childhood physical abuse and my ADD. I did however, feel kind of crappy that the abuse is somewhat my fault. If I had controlled my behavior better, my parents might have treated me AND my siblings better.

Trigger Warning

I hope I'm doing this right. Anyway, here's an article on mother-daughter sexual abuse.

Mother-daughter Sexual Abuse - Support for Survivors of Mother-daughter Sexual Abuse

I thought I'd post this. Just as an a resource for a subject that, in survivor circles, isn't talked about as often.

Just seen this! I have just started my own blog which talks about my experiences and I plan to write it almost as a diary with at least a couple of posts every week about what happened and what is still happening years later. Please give it a read. I'd love feedback and your support really means a lot! Thanks in advance!

http://anonymousconfessions.wixsite.com/mystory

Recovery and self-pity: http://pete-walker.com/pdf/RecoverySelfPity.pdf

Wonderful article on why it’s ok and important to feel sorry for yourself

Can people be saved from a terrible childhood? | Lauren Zanolli | World news | The Guardian

At bottom there is a revolutionary idea. It’s about moving from ‘what’s wrong with you?’ to ‘what happened to you?’

Thanks for the warning and the article!

Thanks for the article!

That a great question to ask!

Very wise words.