[Michah]

Hi everyone,

I don't know how much I can say.......but a good friend gave me the courage without knowing it......

To speak up......of a strange and gut-wrenching day.

I was 16.......and deeply admired and respected a friend of my fathers....

I was intensely religious at school.......and often spoke to priests or ministers from other faiths.

My father introduced me to this man(lets say, Peter) who was a minister different from my church from a foreign country. He seemed so worldly, exotic, cultured and deeply faithful. He had met me when I was 14 and heard my name and and did a seminar in his home country to his congregation, on the Prophet Michah. He filmed it and on his next visit to Australia, he invited me to his hotel to watch it.

He was much bigger than me, and knew exactly what he was doing. I had been groomed from the moment he met me many years before this day at the hotel.

I managed to get out before he could hurt me, but he had me restrained and there was a physical struggle and I hurt him to get out. I don't know how I did it. It took me 2 years to tell my father......"Peter" who assaulted me kept asking for me so I had to be honest with my father because he could not understand why I did not want to see him, when I had always loved and respected "Peter"......

My father cried and cried........and now feels bitterness, that he could not protect me, that I should never have gone there, that how could he have been so wrong about "Peter"?.......

My faith lagged, I was angry at everthing.......and this added to all that I had experienced as a child.......

Not sure why I am telling this........for I feel I have returned somewhat.......but it has come up recently.......and I forgive and pity this man........I found being angry just hurt me, not him.......but sometimes I think.......what if......I had not been able to get out?

I am blessed.....for I know people have had it far worse......and thanks to the bravery of those people, I have been able to vent.......in safety. Thank you

Michah

[larakeziah]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! But good for you that you can forgive him! You are a better person than me cos my whole life has been destroyed an so i'm not in a place to forgive right now! I hope you can continue to be strong an help others to be strong! Hugs to you!

[phoenix47baby]

I agree with Lara. Good job on forgiving. Sending good thoughts your way. phoenix47baby

[lynn P.]

So sorry this happened to you Michah. It's so frustrating the way some religious leaders have sexually assaulted young men and women. This must have been such a shock to you because you were so religious plus you respected him so much.

I hope you don't mind me sharing what happened to me when I was 13yrs old. I had a similar experience with my sisters husband. I knew him since I was 5 - so to me he was like my brother. After a night of babysitting their kids, he drove me home. He came inside to have a coffee and my older brother was home with his friend - but they later left to go out. So my BIL got up to leave -as he passed me, he grabbed me trying to kiss me. When I resisted he said "oh come on -I never get anything from you!" I pushed him away running into the bathroom and locking the door. He tried to get me tocome out, so I threatened to scream out the window. I felt mortified and shocked that he could do this to me but also, do this to my sister. I didn't tell anyone until I was 25. He called and wanted to take me out before I got married - I thought he wanted to take me and my fiance out - but he said "no just me and you". My brother wanted to know why I refused to go and that's when I told him what happened. I never did tell my sister but I wish I did. It wouldn't serve any purpose if I told her now.

Thank God we both managed to get away from our abusers. It's so hard when you're a young woman and you look up to someone, only to realize they want to have sex with you. This is why my oldest daughter is a brown belt in karate. I feel so bad for the women who weren't lucky to get away like we did. I still feel stressed to this day when I think about it, so imagine how they must feel. You're right it is hard to carry bad emotions like that - good job for forgiving this man and thanks for sharing.

[Michah]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

So sorry this happened to you Michah. It's so frustrating the way some religious leaders have sexually assaulted young men and women. This must have been such a shock to you because you were so religious plus you respected him so much.

I hope you don't mind me sharing what happened to me when I was 13yrs old. I had a similar experience with my sisters husband. I knew him since I was 5 - so to me he was like my brother. After a night of babysitting their kids, he drove me home. He came inside to have a coffee and my older brother was home with his friend - but they later left to go out. So my BIL got up to leave -as he passed me, he grabbed me trying to kiss me. When I resisted he said "oh come on -I never get anything from you!" I pushed him away running into the bathroom and locking the door. He tried to get me tocome out, so I threatened to scream out the window. I felt mortified and shocked that he could do this to me but also, do this to my sister. I didn't tell anyone until I was 25. He called and wanted to take me out before I got married - I thought he wanted to take me and my fiance out - but he said "no just me and you". My brother wanted to know why I refused to go and that's when I told him what happened. I never did tell my sister but I wish I did. It wouldn't serve any purpose if I told her now.

Thank God we both managed to get away from our abusers. It's so hard when you're a young woman and you look up to someone, only to realize they want to have sex with you. This is why my oldest daughter is a brown belt in karate. I feel so bad for the women who weren't lucky to get away like we did. I still feel stressed to this day when I think about it, so imagine how they must feel. You're right it is hard to carry bad emotions like that - good job for forgiving this man and thanks for sharing.

Ah Lynn......that is awful.......phew...

Thank you for sharing your story with me.......I feel blessed because I was able to get away and never have to see him again. I bet it was so hard for you, having to be quiet about it to your sister. Family is infinitely hard.

I have been helping a realy good friend irl who was sexually abused by her brither for many years, and the dark secret she carries arund with her. She functions well and seems to be coping, but it comes up sometimes. Nightmares when stressed and other things. We have talked a lot about forgiveness......but all in good time......she is not ready. I worry for her every Xmas, for she has to see this brother every year and pretend......my friends husband knows, and he struggles with seeing him......I can only imagine what it does to her, even if she is coping when I talk to her on the phone. So sad.......it breaks my heart and I get very protective of her......I am her daughters surrogate aunty.......and I know she worries about her daughter.......we have talked much about safety for her daughter and having worked with children, I try and give her some good tips, while looking out for her daughter as well......

So hard........thanks babe, so much for your input......I feel like I know you better and we are closer........thank you.....

Take good care......much love and big hugs

Michah

(PS I rang my local priest recently due to some spiritual angst, and my father was very angry and nervous about it. He still blames himself and has much contempt for organised religion. I wondered at the time if he was angry that I rang a priest, or the reasons for ringing him. I got much out of talking to the priest. My father came with me to a following therapy session to talk to my T about it. We both cried(my T was thrilled. she loves breakthroughs!) and now it is cool. But my best revenge towards "Peter", was to start loving, and returning to my faith. I am not as dogmatic as I was, but my heart is pure......and that is enough for now......he could not beat me and take me away from a spirituality that I dearly love. YEAH!!!!!)

[opheliasorrow]

Michah I'm so very sorry this happened to you. It's always people that up until their irresponsibility we love and respect isn't it? You were brave and rational to get out of that predicament, so strong and yes lucky too, that luck was probably more intelligent decisions on your part to be honest ... you had the sharpness of mind to get out. Please don't say 'others have had it worse', never invalidate your trauma ... your experience was traumatic and you were put in that situation because of an adult who should have known better. I'm glad you told your dad though I'm sorry he had to suffer guilt and bitterness when it was the fault of neither of you. See how this ripples along causing waves in each direction? You are a wonderfully strong person by the sounds of it, much respect to you on being the person you are and for posting this to help others. Hugs if that's ok too ... Ophelia xxx

Lynne I'd like to send a hug to you too if that's ok ... you too seem such a wonderful and strong person. I've read many of your posts and it takes a brave soul to post about what has happened ... Ophelia xx