Dissociation

Hi,

I am having a lot of trouble with dissociation. I am "spacing out" almost 100% of the time right now. Usually I can stop when I want or need to, and sort of "come back to reality" as necessary, and right now, that is not the case. I don't remember it being like this before. It is scaring me....I am scaring me. Does anyone have experience with this?

Thanks for listening,
ErinBear

Nope
but i wish i could help!

Why Fear Im Here

I did a couple of times, but I didn't recognize that that was what it was. I hope things get better for you soon! Fondly, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT </font color=blue>

I have trouble with dissociation sometimes. It gets worse as stress increases. I have been checking out a lot the last couple of weeks. I look at it as a pressure release. Things get a little to much to take so I check out long enough to regroup then start up again. Sometimes it is just a little spaciness, sometimes everything comes to a screaching halt and I stand there with a blank look on my face while the gears try to slip back into place. My T and I did a little work on controlling this process. If we hadn't we wouldn't have gotten anything accomplished in session because when I first started seeing him I would check out for most of the session. He had to learn the best way to get me back which isn't an easy thing because different stressors cause different levels of check out. Sometimes he would talk me out, sometimes he would need to be quiet. He got a feel for it then helped me learn gain some mastery of it.

If it were me in your place, I would use the increased dissociation as a sign that there is something in my life that was causing me an unacceptable amount of distress. If I couldn't locate it on my own I would go to my T and have him help me connect to whatever it is that was bothering me. Then I would have him help me make a plan for dealing with that stressor in hopes of eliminating it.

Good luck and take care,
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

Carrie's suggestions make a lot of sense. I wanted to say something too but wasn't sure what would be helpful. I'll often be asked by somebody why I am staring at them or what I am staring at, or I've caught myself staring out the window at nothing, and in all of these cases I was not looking at anyone or anything real - I just simply wasn't there. One of the most common places where I'm likely to dissociate is at therapy. I have caught myself there digging my fingernails into my arm (without thinking about it) to bring myself back or to keep from spacing out. I guess it must be triggered by thinking about things that are more difficult to deal with. One thing that I have been trying (and I think it usually works) is to wear a lot of rings, especially when I know I'm likely to be in a situation where dissociation is likely, such as going to therapy. Fiddling with the rings gives my hands something to do and can keep me grounded. Other things that keep your hands busy, especially if they involve some kind of tactile stimulation, might also help.


<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

Thanks Dias, Peanut, Carrie, and Rapunzel for your replies. I appreciate that you would share your ideas with me. I appreciate the idea of using something to feel (like rings) to help "shift gears" out of dissociation. I guess I've sometimes done that with a necklace, or feeling a rock I like (sometimes I carry it in my pocket on bad days....it's from a beach I like). And I've sometimes done other things to snap out of it. Somehow all the tricks I've done in the past aren't really working right at the moment. I did talk with my counselor about it this and he knows I am doing badly right now but as far as making things better.....I don't know what the answer is. siggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyway, thanks for listening. I really appreciate it.

Take care,
ErinBear

dissociators have ability to naturally self-hypnosize oneself. you can talk yourself into anything you want to do. if you want more control, then tell yourself over and over how you'll ground yourself from dissociating. but remember to allow yourself to meditate, dissociate, or hypnotize yourself for relaxation too. takes practice to control it better.

i had to do this with driving a car. as the stress in my life increases, the worse i get with spacing out while i'm driving. now i find myself only daydreaming while driving, which i think is at a safe level. (((Huggs)))

<font color=purple> Man can will nothing unless he has first understood that he must count no one but himself; that he is alone, abandoned on earth in the midst of his infinite responsibilities, without help, with no other aim than the one he sets himself, with no other destiny than the one he forges for himself on this earth. Jean-Paul Sartre </font color=purple>

Hi,
I have a family member who dissociates. It happens a little to me too.
I describe it more as being in a daze and having to pull oneself
back to the now or reality of what one is doing. The family doctor
says it is not a good sign because it means the person who is
having this problem is finding it hard to cope because everything
is getting too much. That makes sense to me because we (my family) have been traumatised for a long time. Apparently long periods of
coping with stress can cause depression/anxiety which actually
alters the biology of the brain which is why medications may be prescribed. So it isn't just all in the mind but can be a physical problem.
I am only just learning about all this so bear with me if I am rambling.
Bluesky

Thank you purebugg and bluesky for your responses - it's so kind of you to write back. I'm a little late finding your notes but I appreciate them just the same. I'm still having problems with dissociation and it's not getting a lot better. I'm starting to wonder about trying antidepressants again and may try to talk to my doctor about them this week. They weren't successful for me in the past but it may be time to try them again.

Thanks so much,
ErinBear

I have had this problem nearly all my life, and it has become such a problem I am getting afraid to drive lengthy distances. I drive a tractor and haybine hours at a time during the summer months and a year ago I ran into a tree straight on while I was conscious, eyes open and wide awake. I came back right at the moment of impact. It made me realize the severity of this problem. Many people have wondered and asked if I have seizures.
I have a real difficult time staying focused. I can't read a book for being distracted by zoning out or thinking about something that ultimatly makes me angry. Things frequently remind me of something else and my imagination starts instead of thinking about what I am doing. I don't have a very high stress tolerance level anymore either.
I would like very much to find someone who is capable of working with me on this.
Tom S.

I know that this seems to happen primarily when we are alone (or with our T's) , but have friends or family witnessed it? When you dissociate, if you are interrupted, do you immediately "come out of it"? Do have the sense of lost time and if so, how much? seconds? minutes? hours? Do you find that you basically are sitting in the same place? Stress absolutely makes it worse.

Stressed Out Emmy

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." -- The Dalai Lama

I used to simply zone out for a few moments when thoughts wanted to seep in, but lately it has gotten interruptingly worse. I have sat through a traffic light, and my wife was present in the truck. The one incident last year on the tractor is an exception, because I can usually perform repetitive task like wlaking or even driving when it does not require any thought to keep going, but if allowed to let my mind idle, seconds and even days have psaaed in what seems like no time at all. I feel motionless, and have no real thoughts at all, but have to be aware that I becoem easily angry.
My sister used to visit at thanksgiving, and she was worse than me. We all just sat around in a daze not speaking even though we had not seen each other in years.
One side note, and I have been wondering a lot about this lately; but when we were small children, my mother used to come in and wisper things to us she wnated us to know in our sleep at night. Things like spelling words at school the next day, and chores for us when she was gone. When I was 16 I began waking around at 1 or 2 AM with severe anxiety attacks that have actually caused me to pass out trying to get to the bathroom. I have had them without warning all through my adult life, almost always in the middle of the night, but they have slowed down recently.
A therapist I had last year told me that because I can recall being molested during the day when I was awake, then why not when I was asleep also? I suppose I did not want to know that.
My supposed father was a social workre and learned to do hypnosis, and used to enjoy practicing it on kids.
I was hypnotized by a liscensed therapist I was seeing during one single session back in 1980, and he never saw me again after that session.
Then in 1997 I catherized while under anasthesia for surgery to my back, and I have not worked outside our home since.
I know there is a connection, but what can I do about it? I recently have been referred to a good therapist who is liscensed in my area by Listener who posts on this site. This new therapist is on a national registry for working on PTSD, and Dissociation, and appears to have a desire to want to help me.
Thank you for inquiring Emily. You may message me through this site if you wish to aks more.

dear stressed--dissociation happens in different places and under different circumstances for everyone. when i'm going through a really rough time, i can dissociate everywhere. the funny thing is that most people aren't even aware that i'm dissociated. some people seem to snap out of it rapidly, and others can dissociate for differing lengths of time. there have been times when i've dissociated for hours. sometimes i'm alone (really bad when driving, as someone noted), sometimes with my therapist, sometimes with friends, sometimes in public places where i know no one. there are techniques that can help if we are aware that we are in a situation where we are likely to dissociate. the importance is remaining grounded. the key, i think, is to use as many of our senses as possible.

as to your other questions: i usually do not have a sense of lost time, so i am sometimes brought up short by looking at a clock and seeing that time has passed or noticing that the sun has set. sometimes, i am sitting in the same place; other times, i have gotten from point a to point b and don't know how i did it. other times, i have written or drawn something while i was dissociating and when i "came to" did not remember doing it.