[DfendrOfEmilysHeart]

When I was very little - infants school age - things happened to me that I don't remember and some things I do remember but would rather not discuss here, today. Maybe someday I will. My brother has told me about these things which have left my brain. But there are some things I do remember, one of which is this:

I was standing alone in the corner of the playground, instead of sitting on the edge of the field playing with what I now know are called Plaintans. This older boy walked over to me and for no reason kicked me in the shin. It really hurt, but when I told the teacher, she told me it was impossible beacause she thought I meant someone else with the same name and we both walked away. Even back then, I knew telling wouldn't help.

Things got worse as I progressed through school. The junior school was ok, and it my mind made it safe when I reached high school. The first bad thing I remember is some girls stealing a chain of paperclips I had hanging down from my bag. Things got worse after that. I now know that some of those things were pathetic but at the time, they crushed me.

Other acts, however, were not so pathetic. One of these still stands out clearly in my mind. I was following a teachers advice, following a boy who'd been following me but some other boys were walking towards us. He called out to them and they grabbed me. I fought like hell to escape and ran when I did.

Hell on earth are the only words I think to describe the school I went to. Yes, I had friends there, that's one of the reasons I went, but they offered little help of any value. Glaring doesn't help the person who's being torn apart inside, specially if they are not there to see it.

I spent my break times and lunch times in the library, and the lessons I prayed I could go back there quickly. It was the safest place for me, as I love reading, and I was good friends with the libarians.

Lower school got worse when I met a girl. I'll call her S to protect her. S was the worst kind of person. She made out she was my friend but let me down at the times I needed her most.

She also made me a target of a real bully called K. K hated me because she believed S had dropped her for me.

I can still remember the day I realised I'd nearly made it and I wouldn't have to throw my life away after all. Just a few more days and I'd be gone for good.

This has been so hard to type, some memories more than others. I don't ask for pity as I have now escaped that world and am living a much better, more enjoyable life. But neither do I ask for anyone to downplay what happened to me or make rude remarks. This was my life, and for years I thought it was normal. But none of this was normal, and I chose to share it with you in the hopes that others going through the same will realise that it shouldn't happen, and also that we can escape and live normal, happy lives.

[Lillyleaf]

Emily,
I am so proud of you for sharing your life and how it works and how it happend,
With everyone there is a place of peace and a place of pain,
People are mean that is the bacic thing lillys Dad always use to say. But as we grow that is not true people are only missunderstoode. That is what we want to belive but if it is true or not remains to be proven... I am so glade you shared your story it helps everyone get one step closer to giving there secret not only to others but to them selfs. With every day the hope grows for the next and things may seem hard but it will get better I promise.

Hugs,
Firefly

[PoetKenshin]

i don't know what to say but i'm so sorry *hugs* i know things are still hard and all but without sounding like too much like an uber optimist, things will get better in time. you've got a great heart and i can see that when we speak, good hearts don't go hurting for too long. just have faith and i'll be there for you as much as i can.

Hi there! I've been through hardships in my younger school days. I'm glad that's over myself..
I'm sorry about what happened, but I'm glad you're strong enough to come out and talk! You're so strong for overcoming such events at a young age, which proves that whatever current obstacles you have can be overcome as well. Take care love.
opaque. <3

[Angel21]

Am so sorry for what you have gone through
you are brave to post about it