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Lauren
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Default Oct 04, 2003 at 05:54 PM
  #1
when healing from traumatic events from the past, that I do not recall , will those events have to be recalled? if so just how much of these things need to be remembered ?does each one of us need to heal from the past or is it emotions and feelings concerning the trauma that need to be addressed ?somehow I manage to shut down when the memories come and a stronger part comes, is this unhealthy ?

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mj14
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Default Oct 04, 2003 at 06:29 PM
  #2
Lauren, I've heard different theories on this...some people seem to think that anything you don't recall is going to have an effect on you anyway, so it is very important to recall and address everything. Others think that the important thing is to deal with the problems you are having right now, and move forward, so it's ok to leave past events in the past.

To be honest, I'm not really sure which is really "better", but if you are having a lot of discomfort with bringing up traumatic events, then maybe it would be good to look for a therapist who doesn't emphasize it.

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Default Oct 04, 2003 at 09:23 PM
  #3
Lauren,

I think that you will remember the things that are important to remember when the time is right. If it is too much for you right now, don't push it. You need support when you are working through these things. Are you getting therapy?

I think it is important to recognize that the traumatic events occurred, and that it was not something you could control at the time. Even though you can't change the past, you can change the future and can take control of your life.

Shutting down when the memories get to be too much to deal with is a defense, and different theoretical orientations are going to have different perspectives on whether or not it is healthy, but I think it is self-preservation and if it's important you will deal with it when the time is right.
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catgina
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Default Aug 02, 2012 at 04:11 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauren View Post
when healing from traumatic events from the past, that I do not recall , will those events have to be recalled? if so just how much of these things need to be remembered ?does each one of us need to heal from the past or is it emotions and feelings concerning the trauma that need to be addressed ?somehow I manage to shut down when the memories come and a stronger part comes, is this unhealthy ?
If you can't recall them how do know something happened?
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ktwatts89
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Default Aug 02, 2012 at 04:36 PM
  #5
perhaps she remembers bits, but doesnt remember the full details!

Its the same with me i remember bits from my childhood and there are bit that i forgot about when going through therapy, things came to the surface. Things i thought how could i forget about that. Lauren when i went through therapy, I had to talk about the stuff that happened to me. At the time, it was extremely difficult and my councellor suggested going on anti depressants to help me through the difficult times. But after they were out in the open i could let them go. Not forget them but find it easier to cope with, you do need to go through this with support though lauren i hope ive helped you abit. And i really hope you can through these things. xx
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Default Aug 03, 2012 at 06:43 PM
  #6
I think both working on past and present are important. I worked on the here and now and I have goals and my life is so different from where I was.

HOWEVER

I need to finish the past. I carry very deep core beliefs about myself that are destructive. These beliefs are related to the abuse I experienced with a neighbor and also with my parents. I'm also have reactions to things today that are based on my past. I have CPTSD

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minefield
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Default Aug 05, 2012 at 02:50 PM
  #7
My exerience has been that the memorys just come if I want them or not in differents ways, senses, body recalls etc... it does not always make sense or connect right away. By being in a place that it does not feel possible at the moment use this time to nurture yourself, build your strength ready for when and if they come to you. I find it an annoying phrase but it is true that the path to recovery is a journey how this is travelled the twists, turns, blockages and speed will be individual to you. Take care as you go x

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Butterflies Are Free
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Default Aug 06, 2012 at 03:55 PM
  #8
I think that the body stores the memories even when the mind blocks them. One thing that has worked for me has been body-based therapy. I still don't have all of the memories but as I focus on what is happening in my body, I am able to release some of the stored trauma. My T told me that some people never recover all of their memories but they can still heal.
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