I'm so freakin' mad at a memory.
It's Thanksgiving. We're having a nice freakin' Thanksgiving dinner...
For some unknown reason my bio-father is there. The physically and sexually abusive one which Mom and her friend Terry are well aware of. Now, she divorced him about 4 years prior because she found him being sexually abusive towards my two older sisters, making them touch his penis. Never mind beating the crap out of all of us.
So, why the hell is he at our "new" house?
I don't understand this but there he was for a happy little Thanksgiving visit...
I'm about 7 or 8 and my sister is about 8 or 9. We're sitting at the "kid's table" on Thanksgiving day for dinner.

My other 3 siblings are at the "adult" table with my mom, her friend, Terry and that jackass of a bio-father.
We're sitting there with our pretty freakin' dresses on and he stops at the side of our table and says "Psssssssssssssssst" while waving his hand side to side like a fish tail. You see, this means that we're supposed to spread our legs so he can look under the table at our crouches. (NICE at a Thanksgiving Dinner-don't you think?) So me and my sister spread our legs wide open (other wise he'll "pssst" again) and he looks under the table at our crouches.
Okay-so where the hell are the adults? I mean, our table is right next to the freakin' ADULT table and everybody is sitting there. It's hard NOT to notice this big guy standing there saying "Psssssssssssst" to me and my sister.
What the hell? Why the hell doesn't Mom or Terry jack him up and kick the living daylights out of him? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-he sits back down at the adult dinner table with them and everybody eats. Everything is so freakin' normal.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((((((((Jax))))))))))))))

I was really very angry when I wrote that. Sorry about all the freakin'.
Thanks Caroline. (((((((Caroline))))))))

[Lexicon78]

I'm so very sorry that you had to go through this. I also remember things like this that just drive me insane. I was molested by my step-father at a young age and molested by 2 neighbor boys at an even younger age. I know where you're coming from.

((((Jax))))

[Yack]

That's horrible.

I am sorry that had to happen to you.

Thanks Yack. (((((((Yack))))))) I hope you're doing alright too. Don't worry, everything will be fine.

I'm sorry, Lex. I initially missed your post. Didn't mean to leave you out. God oh mighty, you've been through some really rough stuff,Lex. You need lots of hugs!!! (((((Lex))))
Thank you for your support!

[jmo531]

(((((((((((((((((((((Jax))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry this happened. You are not alone in what you experienced and the aftermath of feelings that you are experiencing. Unfortunatly, it always seems that these slimeballs can inflict this abuse and walk away scott free while we are left picking up the peices for years.

I know you pain and your anger. I am sorry.

Thanks Jmo. (((((JMO))))) Hope you are doing well.