how do u know when its time to leave T

OK ... its been 2 years.....dealt with the CSA and other abuse issues. Now I am just trying to figure out life and have a clear head. I had been going to T weekly for most of this time. Recently I have been going more spread out to every other week. Lately I am not sure I want to go at all. There are propbably several reasons, but one that just sticks in my head. I feel close to T. I feel like he is a very good friend and that we have a connection. I dont mean in a mushy way, although at one point I did feel in love with him. But I dont now. I mean he has his own life, and I have mine. He is going to be getting married soon and I am just a patient. I am trying to live my life. I guess I feel a little lost on where to go from here. It really doesnt have to do with him so much, at least I dont think so. Although I do feel more like pushing away now more and more, and I wonder if it is because I know he is getting married or if there is another reason.
I spoke with a good friend of mine and he says it is because I am growing and that it is normal to grow out of therapy. What does that mean exactly? Are we supposed to feel this way? Am I supposed to not want T anymore? meaning not want to go and talk. I still have issues. Am I supposed to figure them out now by myself? Maybe my questions sound a little childlike. idk. I guess I wonder how to know that I just dont need him anymore. part of me feels like I will miss him soo much but part of me wants to let him go and never see him again. WHY? kinda makes me want to cry when I think to much about it.

So you haven't started working on these issues with him?

Issues - These are all things I have been working on with T and continue to.
CSA - well I guess I am done with it - whatever that means
social anxiety - T says group therapy would be good - I am working on this issue and trying to go out and do things and connect with people. This is very difficult but something T says I need to take these steps and so I have been
Saying no to my family - still working on it
Finding peace in my head - still working on this
Coping with anxiety - still working on this
Fixing self esteem issues - still working on this
Self image issues - got these just fiigure it will get better somehow
Getting overwhelmed and stressed out from work - working on NOT working so much
Being satisfied with my life or finding what I am passionate about - not making a hasty choice but trying different things that interest me -
Taking care of ME...still working on this one.

This seems like enough stuff to keep working with T on.

Do you think there are times when changing T is good. When do people change T's .... is it normal to change T's or do people always stay with the T they started with?
Maybe I feel like I have run my course with him. Maybe I feel like he is gonna be too busy for me with his new life. Sometimes I think I am just to tired to get there -his office os further away now and so it really is a commitment to go. Maybe I will just go once a month and see how it goes from there.
Thanks for reading my stuff ...I know I have been writing a lot.

Is he still helping you?

It does seem like you are reacting to him getting married?

hmmm well yes he is still helping me.

I went to see him yesterday and I was a little anxious about how I am feeling ... I had written stuff about this and so I gave it to him ...my words .... my feeling like I am struggling a little ....

I guess I am reacting a little to him getting married....I guess I kinda feel like a kid who doesnt want to share him....haha ... so silly! My other friend said I should be happy for him....hmm inside I feel like a kid that has her arms folded across her chest pouting! "I dont want to be happy for him!" bratty....
I have written him since in email and I think he will respond like he always does...kind and caring and understanding.

I dont think changing T would be good for me. I guess I need to work through whatever it is that is nagging at me inside...

I wish I was normal like people who never had to deal with these issues .... I guess I wish I could grow up to meet someone like him...

so silly....41 and still trying to figure life out.... and how to be close to people and be healthy
thanks

I'm glad that you want to stay and work through this. This is how you get better - when these things come up and yes, these things do come up when you are working on issues.

I got beyond wishing that I had a better upbringing. I was/am just glad that I am figuring things out and moving forward. Remember "an unexamined life isn't worth living". It really is okay.