There is the obvious, such as physical assault, taunting, name-calling, ostracism, and other glaring harassment. But I am of the opinion that so-called "innocent" teasing or pranking can also be bullying. If person A *finds out* that saying or doing a particular thing will irritate person B, and then deliberately *does it for that reason,* this is also bullying. There is a t-shirt I have seen that reads, "Nothing is more satisfying than {messing} up someone's entire day with just a few words." To me, that is the attitude of a bully. In addition, I believe that any of the following are the words of a bully:

• "Oh, chill, I'm just messin' with ya." Numerous variations include "rattling your cage," "yanking your chain," "trying to get a rise out of you," etc.
• "What's the matter, can't you take a joke?"
• "You're cute when you're mad."
• "You're just too sensitive. Grow up."

Am I alone in these feelings? Is it that I really am too sensitive, and need to grow up, learn to take it, and shut up when someone is deliberately playing with my head?

[Can't Stop Crying]

I agree with you...bullying comes in many forms. I think anytime someone intentionally tries to make us feel powerless or uncomfortable with their words, it's a form of bullying. Especially when there is a power differential and the one "in power" uses there position to belittle or degrade. I've also been labeled as "over-sensitive", maybe I am, but sometimes it's legitimate!

I have a question. These are things I have had done by people close to me, and I would like to know what to call it.

In the middle of a conversation, the other person abruptly stops and begins to look at me strangely. I ask what's wrong. They tell me that I have been muttering to myself for the past few minutes. I answer that I had been talking to them, and they say, "No, you weren't. I just got here, and found you sitting here babbling." When confronted, this person will pass it off as "just a joke."

Someone sitting next to me says my name. When I answer, they are pointedly gazing in another direction, and they deny having spoken to me. Repeat two or three times, after which they express extreme concern for my sanity, because I am hearing things. It later comes to light that they did in fact say my name, but it was "just a joke."

My brother used to go around telling everyone that I had once burned cole slaw because I was too stupid to know it wasn't supposed to be cooked. This of course never happened, but when I tried to say it wasn't true, he would "explain" that the incident was so humiliating that I suppressed the memory. He continued telling this lie until I finally caught on to the fact that the more upset I got, the more likely people would believe it happened. He was trying to get my goat. It was all "just a joke."

I have similarly been accused of saying or doing some small thing, and when I deny it, they would state that I must have blacked it out of my memory or something. If confronted with proof of some kind, you guessed it, "just a joke."

Are these things "just a joke," and therefore innocent? Or is it psychological abuse?

[Can't Stop Crying]

It doesn't sound funny to me. A joke is laughing with someone, not at someone IMO. Are these people you have to be around regularly?

Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying

It doesn't sound funny to me. A joke is laughing with someone, not at someone IMO. Are these people you have to be around regularly?

Not as much any more, but it does continue to haunt me because these are family members. The running theme in all of it was trying to make me think I was crazy. The term "gaslighting" comes to mind.

I moved 3,000 miles away. My family wonders why I don't want to be around them; I guess I just "can't take a joke."

By the way, my husband of 2 1/2 years has never once walked into a room and found me babbling, mistakenly thinking I was talking to him. And, since I've been married to him, I have never heard my name called when no one said it. Nor have I said or done anything I later don't remember.

[Can't Stop Crying]

My older brother (I'm not in contact with him anymore) used to spread horrible rumors about me and was just plain cruel. He was one grade ahead of me at a very small school and one of his projects was to draw a symbol to represent every member of his family....he drew a picture of a doorknob to represent me...I was called knob by the entire school for at least a year!
He did quite a bit of that kinda stuff and if I cried, I was being "too sensitive"

So I do kinda understand what it feels like...I don't understand why people act like that!