 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Apr 14, 2011, 01:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well i don`t have to do I!!!
I "owe" my parents for raising me on one hand - i do my best to fulfill my obligation of respect to them. But i don`t have to be close to them, expose my interior to them, and open my heart wide to moms pleading and moralizing "when people are sick ..family.."blah blah blah. She probably wants me to feel guilty. Which i do anyways. Anoy one who feels sexual repressed feelings etc..after C.S.A which, of course was never recognized or remembered by anyone... and more C.S.A from the neighbor... F THEM ALL perverted idiots. I don`t care. I don`t have to feel. No body will control my way of feelings. If i have any dept to anybody - it is not my heart. thank you |
 Hunny, WePow
|
|
#2
Apr 14, 2011, 05:58 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You don't owe them anything! Take care of yourself, that is the most important thing!
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
|
| Hunny, Irine
|
|
#3
Apr 16, 2011, 03:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You don't have to feel guilty either!! You didn't ask for this -- you are in NO WAY responsible for this. Drive that guilt out of you -- never let it back in. It should NOT be part of your vocabulary!!! Guilt belongs to the perpetrator -- NOT YOU!!!
You are innocent and always will be. Keep reminding yourself that. And no - you don't owe anyone anything. Not your parents, not anyone. You only owe YOURSELF the best life you can possibly give yourself. Take good care of YOU. God bless you ~ and remember, no guilt!!! Hugs, Lee 
|
| Elysium, Hunny, Irine, Open Eyes, PleaseHelp, shezbut
|
|
#4
Apr 18, 2011, 07:14 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I really struggle with this concept ladymacbethadmunsen.
I avoid interracting with my family as much as possible. I dread holidays and birthdays, because that equals pressure to contact them. Show that I do have some level of caring for them inside of me. (Got to admit, I don't feel it though.) I don't think that we're alone with this struggle inside of ourselves either. It is still emotional though. Gentle hugs to you...
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| googley, Hunny, Irine
|
|
#5
Apr 21, 2011, 04:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
you owe them nothing. one thing i have learned is my family is very posiness and any time around them sets me back. you control you now!! stay strong and f them 
|
| Hunny
|
|
#6
Apr 24, 2011, 10:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am so sorry that you have so much pain and were abused.
It is not right. And I hope you are paying attention to what others are sharing - that you do NOT owe your parents anything. But I do get where you feel that... oh how I get it... so let me spell it out for you and me both :-) 1) When an adult makes a choice to bring another life into this world, the entire debt is the ADULTS to pay. a. The adult owes it to that innocent life to protect it from outside harm to the best of their ability. b. The adult owes it to the child to NOT be a source of harm in any way! c. The adult owes the dependent new life shelter and food. d. The adult owes the child an education and the skills that child will need as an adult. I am SICK of adults walking around saying "I gave you birth! You OWE your life to me! You OWE me for the roof over your head and the food in your mouth." B^LL S*!T !!!!! The ADULT is the one who has the ONLY payment plan in this situation!!! I hope this helps you to read, it just helped open my soul up to a bit more healing as well !!! |
| Irine, PleaseHelp, pondbc
|
|
#7
Apr 24, 2011, 11:11 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My T explained the difference between love and like. I loved my parents/stepmother but I certainly did not like her! One wants to be around those we like. Yes we have obligations to those we love but we don't have to spend time with them! They're not "friends".
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| Irine
|
|
#8
Apr 24, 2011, 01:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
| WePow
|
|
#9
Apr 24, 2011, 04:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((Hanners))) You don't even owe the doctors! You can be thankful for them - I am very thankful they helped save your life. But a child can't OWE. I blew my own self away today writing out this reply. It is truth.
The next time our parents say "you OWE me" or even hint at it, we can remind them that THEY OWED their child health, welfare, love, and the rest! They owed it to YOU to save your life. Your mom owed YOU physical health and mental wellness. It is that simple. And oh boy how much freedom that restores to our souls to know this. |
|
#10
Apr 24, 2011, 10:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Ah, the guilt. Today, (being a holiday here, Easter) has been one of those days. I opted to spend the holiday with my boyfriend's family which was far more pleasant than spending it with mine. I too suffered abuse (physical/emotional) from my parents. They shamed me as a child and still attempt to guilt me into meeting their needs. YOU CERTAINLY OWE THEM NOTHING!! It's taken me years to finally erect some boundaries and although painful, has made my life more manageable. My father has been depressed for the last year and held me responsible for his mental health. He even used threats of suicide in an attempt to manipulate me when I refused to do things for him. It's ironic that my parents provided no emotional support for me as a child, but expect me to provide it for them. MacBeth, I understand the anger and resentment. Children deserve to be protected, not exploited.
|
| Irine
|
|
#11
May 07, 2011, 02:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My parents PUSHED me big time, but luckily I loved school and music and excelled in both. How I managed to do that in such a brutal environment is beyond me. I think school was an escape. In 2011 you would tell someone and be immediately removed from the home. But then, it was a secret. And I always was told I deserved it because I was 'horrible, hateful, monstrous and a *****face'.
It was held over me "you would be nothing without us: we made you what you are" and "all these opportunities are wasted on you - you are not worthy of them." After all that they never attended any of my graduations and did not come to see me off at the airport. All of this pales next to "You owe me your life" |
| Irine, mistyeyed
|
|
#12
Jun 12, 2011, 05:07 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
wow. Thank you all. This is sweet. And very comforting. Its hard yeah...my parents are not aware of what happened - i was dissociating - and mom too...she is not aware and i do not want to make her aware! I don`t know what will happen to her if i do....but i still cannot be close to her. To hug her and hear nice words from her feels so disgusting i am exploding. I hold a secret inside.
Otherwise she spoils me like crazy...so...its not like that. It used to be but i did not know about it. |
|
#13
Jun 14, 2011, 10:03 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Know Thy Self. |
| Irine, PleaseHelp
|
|
#14
Jun 14, 2011, 12:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I grew up in a very abusive household. Of course I was told I deserve it and at other times that it never happened and I made it up.
You do NOT owe them a darn thing. The only thing they have done for you is showed you what kind of person NOT to be. (well that's what my "family" showed me) I ended up cutting ALL ties with all of them. It became too toxic for me and was starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend and it was affecting our kids. Keep posting about how you feel. Its good to get it out. |
|
#15
Jun 14, 2011, 03:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
well thank you both looks like your case was harder than mine. Have you read what i posed on this page? well now they are not at all...it used to be - but comes in flash backs.....that`s all. But i will see where this all goes. What i hate is really that all too nice attitude and those compliments for nothing....this is stupid.
Making myself this nothing - sweetie.....yuck! I used to be so naive. |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
