[mixedup_emotions]

Not sure if anyone else here watched the Diane Sawyer special tonight, interviewing Jaycee Dugard.... I started to and then had a full blown panic attack....

When Diane said she couldn't imagine what it was like, I remember Jaycee saying something along the lines of, "Well, just like I don't know what it's like to be beaten, you don't know what it's like to be raped"....

...and then I drifted to my....."what if you've experienced both...many, many times..."

A friend of mine then came over, out of the blue, and she tried distracting me....I then was fine and mentally present - yet my body was still reacting....my heart was racing, parts were going numb, I was having trouble breathing.

She kept telling me to focus on something else...and I told her that I wasn't thinking about any of THAT, and that it was like I couldn't control my body's reaction.

I don't think I've ever experienced it like this before....I have had panic attacks and flashbacks, etc. before - but this was....different. I don't know. Just wondering if anyone can relate....

[Butterflies Are Free]

I am so sorry you had a panic attack. I watched the special, too, and also had a difficult time. I think you may have dissociated and your body reacted to what happened to you in the past. This is very common among CSA survivors. I think it was great that a friend came over and helped you. When I have dissociated in the past, I tried to focus on my breathing and get up/move around the room. I also would remind myself that I was in the present and not the past. This isn't always easy to do. I hope you are feeling better today!

[purple_fins]

mixedup emotions

blech, panic attacks

so sorry you had such a reaction.

Yes, I can relate-- been there many times.

I'm learning that there are some things I HAVE to stay away from -- those things that are similar to my own experiences, so I did not watch that show. Having been held repeatedly against my will as a child, and had various childhood sexual abuses and also been smacked around-- I don't want to get on the "tornado of anxiety", if I can help it.

hope you are feeling better today.

fins

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks for the support.

Unfortunately, I've spiraled into a pretty low place since then....Blech.

[googley]

((((((((((MUE))))))))))))

I'm so sorry this has caused you so much distress.