[Lifeistrulyaride]

I don't know what thread this falls into..but..I have an issue..right now and it's making me anxious.

Okay so..as mentioned in my previous threads..I am a survivor of abuse..and well I go through emotional abuse everyday with the family I live with including my mother and sister.

My girlfriend and I were just on a break in our relationship. She asked me back out and I accepted. I haven't slept over her house in awhile. This weekend she wants me to sleep over so we can have privacy and well to help me escape from my psychotic family since it has taken quite a toll on my well-being.

The thing is..this dumb hurricane Irene is coming this Saturday. So transit has shut down all trains in New Jersey on Saturday and probably all of Sunday. I would need a train to take home Sunday so I could make it to work on Monday. And the weather probably isn't going to be that great with the flooding and everything with the damn hurricane hitting us.

In my relationship with this female.. I used to take a train and sleep over her house every single weekend. At my apartment I'm forced to share a room so obviously privacy is an issue but a part of me wishes she'd stay the weekend at my apartment. She wants me to escape from my apartment and go spend the weekend at her house..but what I am feeling is..

It's like you can't escape from abuse. Because I go there every weekend and then I have to come right back..and go back to reality..working and getting yelled and degraded over and over again and it hurts. She doesn't get that. And my girlfriend was getting irritated saying I haven't slept at her house in over a month but she hasn't slept at my apartment..or in my bed ever... If I want to escape from the abuse, which I do..of course, I want to go and never turn back..never look back. I just want to go. and I do want to do that with her that one day...The day I graduate and we can get our own place. But how do I make her understand my reasoning for not wanting to spend the weekend with her even though I hate living at my apartment but I want to be with her still. She's angry and frustrated and calling herself selfish...and it makes me feel bad because she's such a good person but this is such a tough situation.. she's just tired of me hurting like this..she wants me to be treated right. I'm like anxious. She's picking me up from work and we're going to talk about this and I'm getting anxious and antsy.

help?

[Butterflies Are Free]

I think I would be honest with her and tell her your feelings. If you are getting abused at home, it may be hard for her to witness that, so you may want to see if that is why she doesn't want to stay over with you. The more you can talk calmly about it, the better.
Do you have a school therapist you could talk to?

[Lifeistrulyaride]

Thank you. I went with this advice. I told her how I felt. At first it almost escalated into an argument. But then when I told her how I felt she understood. At first she was frustrated, not at me but at my mother. Because she dislikes her very much for how she treats me. Later on, I realized she really took what I said to heart. She came over Friday. Then went home to her house only to come back and stay the weekend at my apartment. It meant the world to me. It is hard for her to see how they treat me..but she always tells me that I'll have the last laugh. And I believe her.