[suzzie]

had t today. and my t said that the way i remember things isnt how most people usually do. she said that most who have been a/b remember the good stuff and have a hard time remembering the bad. i remember the bad really well. but cant remember any good. i dont know why its backwards.

[Sannah]

I don't know much about that issue but I do know that everyone is an individual and everyone has a reason for why they are the way they are.

[Astridetal]

Well most people who are abusded remember the good as well as the bad, although the memories may be lacking osme ways. Other people have amnesia (memory loss) for significant periods of their childhoods that includes the good and the bad. I for one remember most the bad when in a particular ego state, but I remember hardly any good stuff. So in that sense I can relate to you.

[skeksi]

I don't think it's backwards. We all remember things differently. Some people have pushed their memories so far away that they feel unreal, or are impossible to remember. Some people remember one or two evens vividly, and some people remember a lot. There is no one "right" or "acceptable" way. We remember what we remember and we feel how we feel. Whatever's going on with you is "right."

[Luce]

I think it all depends on what kind and how much of the 'good' there was, don't you?
In my family I remember the bad, and not much of the good. I think that's because there really wasn't much good there - although it certainly wasn't ALL bad. My perception of the 'good' times in my family is mostly that they were simply moments in which the 'bad' was absent.There was *always* that feeling of walking on eggshells and the sense that 'not-bad' could suddenly erupt into 'bad' at any moment.
Maybe the 'ratio' at which one remembers good vs bad is reflective of how much of each there was.

[Piper16]

Um no, hate to say it but your T is wrong on this one. Human memory has this way of remembering poignant moments in time weather good or bad. However as humans we remember the bad and that is what stays with us much longer than the good. This is actually normal to remember the bad and not the good. Yes, when some abuse is so horrible people do block it out, but often times they then have little to no memory at all. No good or bad, just nothing. Most people can tell you some good stories, about their first kindergarten play or a special birthday party as a child, but there are not a lot of positive memories we as humans hold onto. We hold to the bad because it is what disturbs us and we keep thinking about it and so it becomes implanted into longer term memory. This is not the case when someone represses something, but normally, we remember the negative comment someone said to us and completely forget that three other people said something positive. Because it is that one negative that hurts. This applies to all situations including abuse, as I said with the exception of repression. so perhaps your T expects people to repress their painful memories, but not everyone does. You can do some research on memory though and bring it to your T if you want to show her the way memory actually works in regard to positive vs. negative events, and how people experience them. Good luck! and blessings.